i sigh, looking down at my phone and scroll through my music. it's been about an hour, an i still had an hour or two left. i was bored, an the boy next to me hasn't said a word this whole time, which makes it even more boring. i keep scrolling, eventually finding a song that i'll actually enjoy listening to on repeat for the next ten minutes like i did with the last song.
i close my eyes, and think of all the possibilities. maybe when everything is done, like, when i don't have a ticking time bomb in my chest, i can become rich and famous. or maybe go back to school, graduate, get a job an live like a normal human being. which sounds like the normal thing to do.
maybe if i wasn't sick, i would be doing alot right now. i'd probably be in school, getting ready to graduate with Pete and Brendon and Dallon. ohh the boys, i miss them so much. i hope they come around soon.
i wonder what my mother is doing at work right now. maybe she's talking to a client, or writing reports or doing filing or just looking on the computer. my mother works in an office. and hopefully, one day, i can work enough to make sure she doesn't have to work. because she will be working for who knows how long just to pay off of these hospital bills.
i must of not noticed, because the blinds in back of us were shut, which made the room a little dimmer. i turned my head and stared at the IV drip, thinking that each drop that fell would eventually be in my veins.
all of a sudden, a flood of nausea fell over me. my face began to feel hot, an i began to sweat. i start to feel sick, as if any moment i'll be sick all over the floor.
i frantically look around for a trash can or a bucket or something.
i cover my mouth as the feeling gets worse, until a bucket is shoved underneath my face. i grip onto the sides, throwing up into the bucket continuously.
it was the worst five minutes of my life.
i look over to my left and see the other boy standing at the counter, his IV stand by his side. he grabs some paper towels, dragging his stand behind him. he sits on his chair an leans over, handing me the paper towels he had gotten me. i wipe my mouth multiple times, before taking countless sips of water. i lean over to put the bucket onto the floor along with the dirtied paper towels.
i sit back and rub my eyes and begin to cough. i cough frantically over and over again, feeling my lungs burn with every cough. the boy comes over to my chair and pats my back, giving me my water so i can take sips.
after a few minutes, my coughing had stopped as i was back to "normal".
i stared at the wall infront of me and sighed until i heart a small voice.
" m-names Tyler. are you okay?" the boy says quietly.
i look over at him; he's staring right at me.
"yeah, i guess i'm fine now, besides the cancer. my name's Joshua, but people call me Josh."
he nods and a small smile grows on his face, "i've seen you around here a couple times recently, but not before. are you new?"
i open a bag of crackers an chew on one nervously, searching for an answer, even though i know exactly what to say.
"uhh, y-yeah, i'm new. i been here for three or four days, they really start treatments fast i guess."
Tyler leans over an opens a bag of crackers as well, untangling his tubes from his sleeves.
"h-how about you, if it's okay that i'm asking."
Tyler shyly looks up, biting his lip nervously.
"i been here for a bit. a couple m-months. i guess you can tell too i have c-cancer, considering the shaved head and chemo running through m-my veins." he stutters on some words, words that seem to be somewhat important or difficult for him to say.
