Chemo

11.

brief mention/ picture of self harm/suicide. if you are uncomfortable with this, skip from ^^ to **. if any of you need anybody to talk too, i am always willing to help an listen. things will get better, stay alive.

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start the song when you see |-/

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i set my phone down on the table beside my cup of pills. i pick them up an walk to the bathroom to take some water. i stand on the side of Tyler an sigh, sipping the water an swallowing my pills. i walk out of the bathroom to gather my clothes so i could shower.

"what took you so long to take those?"

"hm?," i look back at him confused, "whatcha mean?"

i bend over to pick a sweatshirt up off the floor, feeling Tyler's eyes on my body. i smirk to myself, standing up as slow as possible. who knew Tyler was an ass kind of guy.

"uh, your p-pills. they sat in the cup all morning."

"oh those pills, yeah they're for my anxiety. they probably noticed i freaked out yesterday an decided to put me back on my anxiety medication. sweet huh?"

i looked back over to him an noticed his bottom lip between his teeth. he let go almost immediately, shrugging and giving a nervous shrug. i walked to the other side of the room to grab my brush; as i was heading towards the bathroom, Tyler walked over in the clothes he had brought with him. except, he had his dirty clothes over his waist, hiding an issue that one could only assume. he pulled his IV behind him as he threw his clothes into a bag that would be washed later. he laid onto his bed, waiting for Sarah to come an get him.

"hey uh, i'll be in the shower, goodluck with your x-rays Ty." he flashed me a smile, red flushing over his cheeks.

i dragged my IV into the bathroom, placing my clothes on the table that was beside the shower. i hooked my IV onto a hook in the shower.

i started the shower an shuddered as i stepped in, feeling the cool water fall down my back. the water eventually heated up, soothing every inch of my body. i let the water fall down my body and close my eyes. 

it was the only real moment of peace i had gotten in this hospital, besides last night and this morning with Tyler.

there he was, Tyler, back into my head once again. i turn around and smile as the water hits my lips. i take shampoo an run my hands through my hair, covering every inch with the coconut scented soap.

a few minutes after, i lean my head down into the stream of the shower, washing out the shampoo. it was very relaxing, until i opened my eyes to a sight i had dreaded ever since i was diagnosed. 

i seen my hair in clumps along the bottom of the shower, collecting on the top of the drain. i run my hands through my hair, noticing how much i actually falling out.