Defilement: Atem x Reader

Chapter 4: Hidden Envy

After cleaning the dishes, and throwing out the ruined pan and shutting in for the night. Your room wasn't big nor small. Just the right size for you. Curling up on your bed with a book and chocolate pretzels was a perfect way to end the hectic day.

Your annoying alarm clock rang with a horrid cry before it was flung at to the wall on the other side of your room as you stared up at the ceiling fan trying not to fall asleep again. Ugh, just 5 more minutes. But you knew if you went to sleep again, dad would just come in with the bucket of cold water. That sucked. Badly.

Your drawing pad was also your constant companion when up on the school roof during lunch. Quiet, big, spacious and fenced. No one hardly ever came up here so it felt like another haven for you.

About 3 minutes in after eating your lunch, you didn't exactly trust your father after last night's kitchen incident and had decided to take some left over pizza with you and a can of soda before leaving. Your hand began to draw patterns along the cover, almost out of thought. Another boring day, another train ride home. This type of loneliness didn't bother you before, so why does it now? It didn't make any sense, you were perfectly fine with being by yourself in school.

But as time passed, you began to feel isolated. More lonely than normal. Once again, didn't make sense as to the reason why. Then there was also the unknown and sudden pangs of jealousy and somewhat bouts of depression for the past week. Why was all of this happening? You weren't use to being so depressed; you weren't in middle school anymore. High school now.

With no friends nor boyfriend. That last thought made you pause. Why would that depress you of all things? You had anime. That should be enough but sadly, it wasn't. In fact, it only made it worse since mainly most of your fictional crushes couldn't come to life. Life didn't go like that and you were pretty sure it wasn't the same with love either.

Love...? Bah! Teenagers these days had no real concept of the true meaning of the word. All they know of it is hormones going crazy in the need of sexual contact and endless drama. Oh, and let's not forget the online videos of what happens to those who get their hearts broken by their significant other. Suicide or doing some other horrible thing to themselves to make them forget. Then comes the physical attraction aspect that personally, made you ill. You've seen how those other girls in gym would stare down at a new guy in class. Disturbed by the hungry, near starving light in their eyes and felt sympathy for the poor bastard; unsuspecting that he was about to become ambushed by a pack of wild female wolves in human form.

It really made you sick. How could they act so insane over the opposite sex? Amazonian blood line perhaps? That could be the only logic explanation for the behavior. But then again, she'd feel bad for the baby if born a male since they were killed and the girls spared so that was quickly debunked. Softly shaking your head, you trudge along with the rest of your classmates towards their respected lockers changing before heading home. Yet still, these two emotions remained. It soon dawned on you.

You were tired of being alone. Hated it.