fire and rain // forheadedrose

61. Goodbye my lover

D E J A

"Mrs. Riggs, there's been an accident involving your husband."

The brush in my hand slowly fell, I let it hit the hard ground.

"I-I'm sorry?" I whispered, my eyebrows slightly furrowing.

"May we come in, ma'am?" One of them asked and I slightly nodded.

I stepped out of the way, they both came in, the younger looking one stopped and picked up the hairbrush I dropped.

He handed it to me and I looked up at him, his eyes slightly red and teary.

They followed me into the living room where they sat across from me, I prepared myself for the worst.

"Your husband--" "Riggs. You know him, Chief." I interrupted because I knew the chief of police, him and Martin were friends.

"You can say his name." I whispered and he sighed softly and took off his police hat.

"Riggs was on the 9:20 flight today, and we just lost contact with his flight after they radioed in mayday. They crashed a few hundred miles off the Gulf of Mexico." He informed me.

I closed my eyes as a tear streaked my pink cheeks.

"We haven't had any contact with any passenger or flight attendant or pilot since 4pm." "He-He's gone?" I said trying to grasp the concept of never seeing my husband again.

"We're so sorry, Deja." The chief spoke sincerely, "We can't find any of the wreckage because the tracking in the plane was probably taken out during the crash, so we don't have any body or belongings for you..." I breathed deeply as my ears began to ring, I looked at the chief who was still speaking but I couldn't hear anything.

I slowly looked a few inches away from the officers to see my little girl standing in the doorway, leaning on the frame.

---

I sat in the middle of my couch, watching the people around me move in slow motion, all of them in their finest black suits and dresses.

I saw Lexie holding onto Mark tightly, not being able to hold in her sobs.

I looked over at Trish who held Danger in her arms, her pretty blonde hair was beautifully done for one of her best friends memorial service.

I felt the couch dip beside me and I looked over to see Roger sitting down next to me.

"How you doing, Dej?" He asked I looked up at him, "It fucking hurts." I spoke with what felt like a knife all twisted up in my lungs.

"I feel like I just died." I spoke softly.

"I can't imagine what this is like for you and Danger." He sighed, not knowing how to comfort me.

"I can't even think about losing Tri-" He couldn't even finish because he got so choked up.

"He was my Trish." I said looking up at him, my eyes red and stinging as a lump grew in my throat.

I excused myself before rushing to the upstairs bathroom where I threw up twice.

I wiped my mouth as I looked at myself through the mirror, I seemed hollow as I saw the dark circles under my eyes and my hair was nowhere as neat as it usually is.

--

"Danger, please hurry up." I hollered up the stairway.

"I'm not going, I'm staying here." She pouted at the top of the stairs.

I sighed before heading up the stairs, I gasped as I caught myself from falling face forward onto the stairs.

I looked down to see what my foot had slipped on, my chest became tight as I saw Martin's favorite pair of boots sitting on the side of a step.

I sat on the step and looked up at Danger, who sat down at the top step.

"I miss him too, mama." She spoke softly as she watched me hold his old, scuffed boots.

"We need to leave, baby." I said holding the boots in my arms, clutched tightly to my chest.

"I know, but this is where daddy lived." She spiked sadly.

"I know, Danger. But he doesn't live here anymore, darling." I looked at the little piece of him I had left.

"How about we stop and say goodbye before we leave?" I suggested and she slowly nodded before getting up to finish gathering her things.

-

"This wasn't supposed to happen-- you weren't supposed to leave me- to leave us." I said with a jacket over my shoulders.

Danger slept in the car as I stared at a slab of cement that now represented my husband's whole life.

"We we're going to have more kids, and travel, and grow old together." I sniffled.

"You are the love of my life." I began to cry, "Were." I corrected myself before covering my mouth.