Lexie's POV
After me and demi were done watching movies I was alone with my thoughts. I really don't trust myself right now. Demi's probably asleep it wouldn't be nice to wake her up, but she would probably be mad at me if she found out about this. I physically can't get up though, I know if I get up I would grab a blade. I just feel worthless and cutting has became such a habit for me that I use it for little things like this. Do it Lexie you know you want to. Oh no not now I don't need this right now. Were just trying to make you perfect dear. By this point I had my hands clawing my scalp with my eyes tightly closed.
"Please leave me alone." I whispered.
We will leave you alone if you kindly just do one thing for us. At this point I wasn't thinking straight. I was now holding a cold metal piece in my hand. Sometimes I hate this exact piece of metal but other times like right now I admire it. My fingers were testing the sharpness of the blade and without thinking I swiped it across my wrist. I was mesmerized by the blood slowly trickling down my arm. Good good. My demons snickered. I craved more, as messed up as this is it soothed me at a time like this. Maybe Avery was right maybe I should just end it all now. One, two, three, four, five, six. What would Demi think if she saw you like this? That was odd usually it's my demons chanting for me but this was my common sense finally setting in. A sudden wash of guilt came over my body. What would she think? Should I tell her? No no of coarse I can't she'd kill me. I got up and cleaned my cuts up so they wouldn't get infected. Maybe I should tell Demi I mean she deserves to know. You know what I'm telling her. I tried to be quite while sneaking into Demi's room but failed miserably when I trip and fall over a stack of books.
"Ow." I whined.
"Whaaa?" A groggy Demi asked. I shot up and jumped next to Demi burring my face in her stomach.
"I'm so so sorry Demi I didn't mean to please don't hate me." I babbled into her shirt.
"Sweetheart I can barely hear you why are you sorry?"
"I'm stupid." I chocked out.
"Lexie are you crying? Look at me babe." I lifted my head to be greeted by a worried expression on Demi's face. I hate making her worry so much.
"Please don't hate me, I didn't mean to." I said trying to avoid eye contact.
"What do you mea-" Demi stopped and glanced down at my sleeve and she got a horrified expression on her face. Demi put her hand on my leg and rubbed it slightly.
"Pull up your sleeve sweetie." I frowned.
"Please don't yell." I whimpered.
"I promise I will try not to just show me." I slowly pulled up my sleeve and squeezed my eyes shut, I didn't wanna see Demi's face when she saw this.
"Lex why." Demi choked out. Oh gosh I didn't wanna make her cry I'm so terrible.
"Demi please don't cry Im Sorry." I said while wiping Demi's tears away.
"Don't apologize. Just please tell me why."
"Dems I tried really I did but my thoughts got the best of me, and it just hurt me when Avery told me that know one cares about me because sometimes I feel like that's true." Me and Demi both took a long pause, then she grabbed my hands and made me look I to her brown eyes.
"Lexie." She started off.
"I can't even express to you how sad I am. You are worth so much more than this, Avery's only saying that stuff to you because that's the way she really feels about herself. I want to see you happy lex it kills me seeing you like this. Your a beautiful down to earth girl who needs to learn how to just say you know what if that's what you think than that's ok because I know I'm healthy and happy and fine."
"Lexie I love you please try and get better please." She practically begged.
"I will try Demi I promise you I will try my hardest to recover."
"I'm proud of you."
"Thanks." I yawned.
"I see that someone's a little tired."
"Yeah I'm going to bed I love you dems." I said getting up. But Demi pulled me back down next to her.
"Where do you think your going." Demi giggled.
"Your staying here." Demi mumbled in the back of my head.
"Demi?" I said after a while.
"Hmm?"
"Do your promise to never leave me?"
"I promise baby girl."
"Really?"
"Always."
_______AN_______
Hey guys so do y'all love it hate it?? Please leave your ideas in the comments. I'll update again soon for 10 votes and 5 comments. Love you guys so much thank you for your support 😘
~ Maddz
