Criminal Minds One Shots

*Memory Lane (Garciaxafab!Reader)

Note: afab (also called dfab) means assigned (or designated) female at birth; cis women, trans men, etc. The reader is nonbinary in this fic || Requested by TheJokerReject

Penelope Garcia, or "Pen" as you call her, is your best friend. She makes your depressing job at the BAU feel less dark and grim.

You have many fond memories with her. Like meeting her on the first day...

You looked like a lost school child. Which was honestly how you felt. Everyone whizzing around the office and the deafening chatter; it was all a bit much for a first-day junior agent.

"Hi there!" a very bright woman exclaimed. "You look lost. Can I help you?"

Instead of responding you kept focusing on the sensory overload that was her outfit. She was wearing an electric blue sweater over a white flower, knee-length, flirt-skirt dress. She also adorned the tallest wedges you'd ever seen.

"You okay?"

You snapped out of it. "Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. I just, uh..."

"My clothes catch you off guard?" she guessed with a smile. "It's okay. Happens to everyone." She brushed it off and looked cheerfully back at you.

"It's just, well, you don't look like a fed is all."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm not really." She extended her hand. "Penelope Garcia. Tech analyst for the Behavioral Analysis Unit here in Quantico."

Your eyes grew large before you smiled. "Oh! We- we'll be working together!"

"Super!" he cried. "So I guess you're looking for Hotch then?"

"Who?"

"Sorry! SSA Aaron Hotchner. We call him Hotch."

"I see. Then yeah, I am looking for, 'Hotch'." You giggled. "That's a funny name."

Garcia smiled. "I know, but don't tell him that. He doesn't look all sunshine and lollipops but trust me, he's got a soft caramel center."

"Well no one is sunshine and lollipops compare to you."

"Aww, thanks, uh, um, sorry, I don't know your name."

"Y/n y/l/n." You smiled at her before realizing your mistake. "But! Um, I'm probably in your database as Maryanne y/l/n."

"You don't look like a Maryanne. You look... tougher. Cooler?"

"Yeah, thanks. I don't feel like a Maryanne either," though you meant more by that than Garcia realized at the time.

Or going shopping with her...

"Y/n look! This dress is so cute! I think this is your size!" Garcia squealed.

You laughed and uncomfortable chuckle.

"How come you never wear dresses?"

"Not never!" you protested.

"When have I seen you in a dress?"

"Every formal event we've ever gone to."

Garcia pouted. "That doesn't count!"

"Ugh I just don't wear dresses, okay?"

"But you look really good in them," she insisted.

"I also look like a girl in them."

"Fair point, fair point."

And even uterus problems were made better with your bestie...

You sat at your desk holding your abdomen. "Dear Lord," you whispered.

Garcia saw you and rushed over. "You too, huh?"

"Yep. Period pals!" you sarcastically cheered.

"If you come down to my Cave of Knowledge I have your favorite snack." Before you could respond Garcia turned around and left.

"Hey, y/n!" Reid chirped. "You okay?"

"Mmm yeah. I guess. Just mother nature trying to murder me," you joked.

"What??"

"Spencer, relax. I'm just on my period."

Reid stood in shock for a moment before shaking his head.

"You forgot I'm afab, didn't you?"

"You have a very androgynous face and your style isn't exactly aligned with any traditional gender roles and I-"

Your laughing interrupted the mortified genius's explanation. "It's okay, Spencer. I get that a lot. Now, if you'll excuse me, Pen has some (favorite snack) waiting for me."