Because of you: Never Ever

Secrets

I'm so fucking over this. I got back to the hotel and I was packing my shit up. Then Khodie walked in. "What are you doing?". "I'm packing my shit what does it look like". "You really leaving over a kiss?". "I'm not about to stay here and look dumb. Not for you not for anyone. Like I'm not about to get played".  "It's okay.. I promise it will never happen again".

"And you think because you promise. I'm just suppose to believe that? I don't trust you at all". "Look I said I promise. Can you just please stay?". "No I can't". She walked up to me and backed me into a corner. "Khodie move please". "Not till you say that you will stay with me?". "No please move. I don't want to stay with a killer". "I'm not a killer okay it was an accident okay. I was only a little girl okay". "So you admit you killed your mom. Oh god I'm in a relationship with a killer".

She hit the wall above my head, "I'm not a killer okay". She storms to the other side of the room. "Well what happen then". I was kind of scared. We never hit each other but she was really close to my head. "Listen to me I would never intentionally hurt anyone". "Khodie just tell me what happened". We sat on the bed, "My dad had to go to an emergency meeting so it was just me and my mom. Her name was Hope. She was laying in bed. It was time for her to get her insulin shot. So I went to go grab it. She told me that she had took it already. So I went to go put it back. I was playing with some friends outside and then my dad came back home. He screamed which made me come inside. I walked into their room and he was crying over her body. She was laying there breathless. It turned out that she hadn't been taking her insulin shot for days".

"Really..that sucks". "I know". "I still don't believe you". "Why would I lie about something like that?". "Why would you lie to me at all". "Because..". "Because why?". "Look I wanted you to like me. Do you honestly think you would have gone out with me knowing this?". "I don't know maybe. But still you shouldn't have waited till after you proposed to someone. That's not cool". "I know it's not but please can you just stay please". "Ugh fine but you owe me". "What else can I give you? You already got my heart". She smiled at me and I rubbed her cheek. "Awe you trying to be cute. Stop that".

"I'm always cute what do you mean?". "What ever and tell that little bitch if she ever pushes me down again it's gon be me and her. If she ever kissed you again she gonna catch the hands. Are we clear? If you ever kiss her again you will get this ring back".  "Okay I got it. Are you and Val together?". "No we aren't?". "Y'all just fucking?". "I mean yeah basically". "Why because she gives you hot sweaty naughty kinky rough sex?".

I rubbed my face, "you heard my conversation with Reyna?". "Yeah all of it" she rolled her eyes at me. "Oh please it's nothing serious".  "Janai can we just go back to the way things were?". "You know what's funny. Your always asking me that? When are you gonna stop fucking up Khodie". "I don't know. But I would expect you to be there for me".

"Khodie I'm here. But not for you. Your dad begged me to come because you were going to cancel. I care enough about your career to be here and these people paid their money to see you. How could you be so selfish enough to even think of doing that?". "Look I was hurt okay I was depressed and I just wanted to stay home. I just wanted to be sad". "Look I get that but wait have you burned yourself". "No I haven't". "Good..I'm always worried about you".

I got up and I ran me a bath. I sat in the tub then Khodie walked in. "Can I help you?". "Let me join you".  "Why?". "Because I want to". She started stripping out of her clothes. "Move over". She sat behind me and she held me tight.  "You know I'm still mad at you right". "Yes I do but you still love me". "I do love you but I'm mad at you". "I'm sorry J". She held my hands and she sung to me. It was so relaxing. I wish we could stay like this forever. I started to drift off into sleep. "Come on sleepy head". She got out and she picked me up and dried me off with a towel and she dragged me off to bed.