Because of you: Never Ever

In Ones Cup

It's been a couple of days and my husband is on his way back home. I haven't been talking to anyone really. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what went down with Khodie and I. Is it wrong to have feelings for an ex and want to peruse them even though your married. You know if my daddy didn't force me to get married I wouldn't have this problem.

It was getting late and I took a bath and I got in the bed. I heard footsteps come up the stairs. "Honey I'm home". He jumped in the bed and he kissed me so intensely. "Hey baby.. how was your trip". "It was amazing the video is gonna be popping". "That's good I can't wait to see it".  "Well get some sleep it's really late. Im gonna go shower and hit the sack. That flight was no joke". "Okay".

I had rolled over in the bed and my phone started to ring. "Hello". "Hey Janai. Um I was wondering my dad is throwing a BBQ tomorrow afternoon and I was wondering would you like to come?". "Uh I don't know it's been a while since I saw or talked to your dad". "Well he asked about you and he wants to see you". "Oh okay well sure I'll come I have nothing else to do tomorrow". "Okay see you at two". "Okay Khodie bye". "Bye".

I had put my phone down and my husband came out with a towel in his hand as he dried his curly hair. "What were you talking about?". "Uh Khodie invited me to BBQ her dads throwing I haven't seen in him in a long time". "Awe that's should be fun to reconnect. Can I come or are you just going?". "Um no you can come totally. It's not gonna be much fun with out you there babe".  "Okay cool is casual?". "I would think so it's a BBQ but you already know I'm going to be looking great. You know I slay these bitches".  We both laughed at my comment.  "Mmhm good night my babies". He kissed me and my belly.  "Good night daddy".

****
I'm happy my dad asked about Janai because it's an excuse to talk to her. I haven't seen her since the day we talk about our relationship. I mean it was super emotional and stressful. I really don't won't to stress her out while she's pregnant. Cymia and I left my house to go to my dads house and help set stuff up. "Hey my baby". "Hey Mom". I smiled at Isla as came over and gave me a hug. "Hey Cymia". "Hey Mrs. Williams".

We walked out the backyard and I saw my daddy on the grill outside by the pool. "Hey you two". "Hey pops it smells good". "Thanks you know I had to do it. What do you kids say uh it's about to be lit". "Yeah dat way dad". We all laughed at my corny dad. "Babe why don't you go help my mom in the kitchen". "Okay I'll be back". I gave her a kiss before she left.

"So I see you two are still going strong". "Yeah we have our good days but we also have our bad days". "So did you talk to Janai like you told me you were". "Yes dad we had along disappointing conversation". "Why was it disappointing?". "Well we both still love each other deeply. She can't get over the fact that I broke up with her and that I never fought for her. She's says I just gave up dad". "And did you?". "Did I? What?"

"Did you fight for her?". "Dad I... Well I tried to". "But you didn't. When you first started to date janai I have to say I was very skeptical. I mean from her background and all I thought she just wanted to use you. But then she turned out to this sweet beautiful young lady with a lot going for herself and I seen a spark you. That wasn't there for a long time. When your mother passed you become quite and stuck to yourself. Not really yourself but she changed you. She brought out a better you and that's the Khodie I'm proud to see".

"I know I have to say I was my happiest when we were together. But dad she's married now". "She's married? Well Khodie marriage is big and sacred thing. I hope your not trying to ruin her marriage". "No dad I wouldn't do that. I just want her to come to grips with who she really is. To stop hiding behind this sham of a marriage is all". "Well maybe just maybe she's happy being in this so called sham of a marriage". "Yeah okay well she said she would come today. So she should be here later". "Oh great I haven't seen her in a long time. I miss my old daughter in law".  "Me too".

*****

I put on a white dress with flowers all over it. I put on some white flats and my hair in a top bun. My husband put on a white vneck and khaki shorts and white vans and his hair in a low ponytail.

"Babe you look beautiful". "Thanks baby". I grabbed my purse and we left to go to Khodies dad house. Channing drove us there.  He's really been so sweet today since he got back.
We arrive at the house and Channing came around and opened my door and helped me out of the car and we walked to the door and rung the doorbell.

Isla opened the door. Wow she still looked beautiful as ever. "Oh my god Isla". "Janai sweetie it's been forever".  She hugged me super tight. When she finally let go of me she invited us inside. "Isla this is my husband Channing and Channing this is Isla. Isla is Khodies step mother". "It's nice to meet you Channing". "It's nice to meet you too". "Well everyone is out back lets go".

I was super nervous to be back here. I mean this is where it all started. We walked through the house to the back. There was music playing and there were people in the pool and eating and talking and dancing. I saw Mr. Danny sitting down in his patio sofa next to Khodie and Cymia was sitting in her lap.  "Hey Mr. D". "Janai my gosh. It's been too long my dear". "It has I missed you". "I missed you too". He gave me a hug.  "So who is this". "This is my husband Channing". "It's nice to meet you young man. Janai is like my daughter and I hope you have nothing but good intentions". "I do sir". "Well I hope he would Mr. D. I mean if he didn't this whole baby thing isn't gonna work out". "Awe what are we having".

He rubbed my belly. "We want it to be a surprise". "I'm happy for you. It's so good to see you. Well enjoy yourselves". "Thanks so much".  We sat on the opposite sofa facing them. "You hungry babe?". "I mean I'm always hungry. You want something to eat?". "Yeah I could eat". "Okay I'll go fix us some food". I started to get up but he stopped me. "It's okay you relax I got it". "Awe you sure?". "Yeah I'm sure". "Okay thanks bae". "No problem". He kissed my forehead and walked away.

Isla walked up with this pretty light skinned girl with curly black hair. "Janai this is my daughter Ella". "Hi I'm Janai. I heard a lot about you. Wow you are gorgeous". ""Awe thank you. I've heard a lot about you too. Khodie doesn't stop talking about you. You are as beautiful as she said you were". I started to blush at the fact Khodie still talks about me let alone she thinks I'm beautiful. Even when I'm a chunky with puffy cheeks and fat ankles right now.

****
I saw Janai came with her husband. I slightly rolled my eyes. Like I invited her just her. Today is going to be a long ass day. Cymia sat on my lap. I feel like she did that because she was Janai and she was just being petty. Isla introduced Ella to Janai and they were talking then I hear her tell Janai that I talk about her and stuff and I saw Janai blushing. That made me smile.

Janai's husband came back with two plates of food. Hmm he does seem like a nice guy. Maybe too nice. "I'm gonna make me a drink. You want something?". "Nah I'm good babe". Cymia got off of me and I walked inside and I make me crown and coke. My sister Charlie walked inside. "Are you okay?".  "I'm okay I guess". "How are you feeling. I know how you were when you and Janai broke up".  "I'm just fine okay!". "Okay fine". She walked away from me.

I sipped my drink and Janai walked in the kitchen and she was washing her hands. I walked over to her. "Hey Khodie". "Hey. So you invited your husband". "Yes why? What's wrong with that?". "Nothing just nothing". "Please don't have an attitude". "I don't have an attitude but I don't appreciate you rubbing him all in my face". "I'm not. Maybe your just in your feelings".  "Janai I love you". "Please let's not do this. Not right now". "Janai please just listen to me". "No I can't right now". She tried to walk away but I backed her into a corner. I grabbed her face and I kissed her deeply.

"What the hell!". I heard someone say loudly and I stopped kissing Janai. I really regret turning around. It was Cymia and she looked like she was going to cry. "Look it's not what it looked like". "I knew you wanted her back. I'm not dumb. Your such a bitch". She slapped me and she walked back outside. Janai and I just looked at each other. "I told you not to do this". "I'm sorry okay". "Your getting too reckless now I mean my husband is outside". "I don't care about him Janai I just care about us". "Khodie I love you I do but you have to stop this". "Don't act like you didn't like it". "That doesn't matter". She walked away from me and went back outside.

Ugh what am I gonna do? I need to call Reyna.