but who would date a broken girl? | j.w.d

21

last lesson of the day! English. but our teacher was off sick so we had a different one. me, josh, jenna, and tyler all sat in the back together talking. josh gave me some colouring to do while they all talked quietly. I tried to get involved in the conversation but they told me to colour.

it upset me so I got up and put my bag on and went to sit somewhere else. tyler called my name but I ignored them. I went over to the left middle table where hayley, ashley and melanie were.

hayley was a pretty and kind girl with bright yellow hair. ashley was a loud and energetic lass with blue hair. melanie was a short and shy girl with new hair colour any day. they all smiled when they saw me. "everything okay?" ashley asked me sweetly. I nodded. "can I sit here?" I asked. "of course!" she moved her bag off the chair and gestured me to sit next to her. "thanks" I sat down in the seat next to her.

"what's going on back there?" hayley asks me. "they're making me colour a tiger while they talk" I rolled my eyes. "friends don't do that" she says. "unless they have a surprise?" melanie was a sweet girl and always looks on the bright side of things. "they wouldn't let me join in. I don't know" I shrugged. I felt a tap on my shoulder. "oooh" the girls made the same noise.

I looked over my shoulder to see josh. "come back" he pleaded. I ignored him and took my small notebook out. the girls all shrugged as I handed paper out. "c'mon please!" we all ignored him as ashley handed us all sharpies. she gave me a red one.

"I'm sorry" he nudged me. I giggled a little bit and the girls smirked. this was actually kind of fun to see josh plead for my attention. i drew a picture of a knife. i was thinking of my attempt. "don't draw that!" he tried to pry the sharpie away but it was stuck to my like glue.

the bell rang and I grabbed my bag and ran. the three other girls ran with me. we made it outside and bursted out laughing. "that was fun!" mel smiled. "thanks" I say quietly. "anytime! you should hang with us more! wanna come to the mall with us tomorrow?" ashley asked. "I wish. I have stuff going on right now. I'll explain soon I promise" "take all the time you need! see you soon!" they all walked their separate ways home.

I saw brendons car and walked over to it. I opened the door and then someone closed it. I look up to see josh. "what's going on with you?" he asks me. "nothing" I went to open the door again but he stopped me. "what we were talking about, we knew would break you" he explained. "so I'm so fragile that I can't hear something about me?"
"I just don't like seeing you hurt!"
"get used to it josh! I'm always hurt" I rolled my eyes and opened the door.

the drive home was quiet. brendon had brought me my secret stash of jolly rancher hard candies. we made it to the centre and he turned to me. "I'm going to tell you what the other three were discussing" he tells me. I faced him. "okay" I say to him. "your mom bailed your dad out..."

I froze. she bailed him out. why? she knows he hurts us! why? "b-brendon" "don't talk okay? just stay calm. the child service thing has made sure your parents get zero contact with you and will not be allowed to see you due to child abuse and neglect. I'm going to be here for you, I promise. I'm back in school on Monday. I'll do whatever I can to give you the help you need. my mom was even saying that if you want she will adopt you. just please stay strong"

"your so nice" I bursted into tears.
"aw that's my best friend!" he gave me a bear hug whilst I cried my eyes out. "I love you best fren" he says, wiping my tears. "I love you too" he gave me another hug. "see you tomorrow" I got out the car and headed in.

Lainie ran to me. "is that your best friend?" she asks. then she noticed my tears. "you heard about mom and dad?" she asks quietly. I nodded. "I won't let them get to you" she took my bag from me and lead me upstairs. she hung it up as I took off my shoes. "i brought us some snacks" she gestured to the desk. there was cookies, small cupcakes, a bit of fruit and two glasses of orange juice.

we talked a bit and she helped me with my homework. she helped me text josh an apology. he forgave me but I felt horrible. she was such a good friend.

trigger warning: self harm and depressssssing thoughts

after dinner I had a shower. but my shower lead to something else too.

how do I have friends? why do people bother with me? I'm a waste of time and space. the voices took over my mind as I dried myself and got changed. I couldn't make them stop. I was shaking as I cried. I couldn't scream. I'd get referred. I clasped my phone in my hand, breathing heavily.

he was on speed dial. "hey babe!"
"j-josh" I cried out. "make them stop"
"hey sweetheart it's okay" his voice made my heart melt. "remember the other day? breathe the way you did that day. I'll show you" I copied his breathing but the voices were taking over my mind.

seconds later, he was holding me and rocking me back and forth. telling me everything was going to be okay. telling me that I was strong. telling me that he loved me.

the voices faded till the only sound was josh's voice. I breathed out and sobbed. "t-thank you" I cried out. "anything for you" he wiped my eyes gently with his thumbs and helped me off the floor. he carried me to my room and sat me on the bed gently. Lainie had red eyes. she gave me a hug. "I'm so glad your okay. Thank you josh" she whispered. josh nodded in reply and caressed my cheeks.

"your beautiful" he mumbled.
"aww!" Lainie squealed. me and josh giggled shyly. "how'd you get in?" I ask.
"I had your homework that you left on my table during English. I was on the way anyway. that's why I got here so quickly after you called" he says. "ah" "I'm gonna go and get you some hot chocolate" Lainie says. she patted my shoulder and went downstairs.

"the girls here are wild. they saw me run up the stairs and started flirting" "those bitches need to back off. your mine" I growled jealously. josh smiled at me. "your angriness is sexy" I laughed at what he said. our lips met as soon as his hands moved to my waist. "PDA!" we jumped apart when Lainie walked in holding a mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows and chocolate sauce.

"I better get going" josh says as I gave him a tiny marshmallow. "it's a reward for helping me" I joked. the three of us laughed. "walk me out?" he pleaded. I giggled and agreed. he said bye to Lainie and some of the girls were still trying to circle josh. "back off bitches he's mine!" I yelled. I don't usually yell but josh is mine. they all rolled their eyes. I walked josh outside and before he left he gave me a cute hug and a small kiss.

the girl all awed making us laugh. "see you tomorrow?" he asks. "okay! we hugged again and he walked down the path. I waited till he was out of sight and then headed back in.

and I was bombarded with questions. again.