I stayed round josh's again and the next day he stayed around mine.
I got up in his arms and had a shower. I got ready into this:
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I sat at my desk writing letters.
To Sarah,
I'll miss you your hot chocolate, smiles, comforting words and hugs. Keep Brendon happy. Best of luck for the future - Cat xox
To Jenna,
I'll miss your amazing food, smile, hugs, funny dancing with me and weird snap chats. Keep tyler happy. I can really see a future for you two - Cat xox
To Tyler,
I've let my demons win. I've let suicide win. I've let you down. I'm sorry. But please. Stay alive. I beg you. I don't want to see you in hell with me. Well, your an angel so you'll be in heaven. But just don't kill yourself. Stay strong. Live on. Write songs. Thank you for all the love and support. Also please never shave your head again. I love you fren - Cat xox
To Brendon,
Beebo oh my god I'm going to cry. I love you. Your my big brother. You've saved me from suicide many times but this one please don't. It's for the best. I love you best friend. I don't know what to say and write. Be strong. Make me proud. Make your mom proud. Make Sarah and everyone else proud. I can really see a future for you brendon. Your inspiration and bravery. I love you so so much beebo. I'll miss you. Thanks for everything - Cat xxxxxx
Dear josh,
This is going to be so hard. As I look at you sleeping I feel horrible. I can't live like this though. Everyday I feel more and more broken. Suicide is my only option. I'm sorry. I feel so selfish for leaving you but I have to do this. Stay happy. Don't let your demons win. I was to weak. I used to always wonder to myself: Who Would Date A Broken Girl? But josh now I know for sure you would. I love you with all my heart. Find someone new. I'll miss you babes. - love from cat xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I put the note on his chest and kissed his lips. he started to wake up! I ran and put brendon and Sarah's note on his bed. I ran downstairs as I heard josh open the note. I went to the first guest room and put tyler and Jenna's notes on the bedside table (everyone stayed round).
I grabbed the noose from my coat (I managed to hide it in there) and ran. "Babe!" I didn't listen. I ran for my life.
I made it to the bridge. Exactly two years ago I tried to kill myself here. I'm back. I tied the noose to the tree, standing on the stool as I did so. After that I lowered myself and put my neck through. Finally time to end-
"NO!" I was pulled away from the noose. I desperately tried to grab on to it. "No please!" I cried. Then I was in the arms of not Brendon Urie. but Josh Dun. "Don't you ever try to leave me again!" I've never seen josh cry this much. I started to cry too. From the corner of my eye I saw Brendon crying as he took the noose down from the tree and screamed as he threw it in the water. "Brendon!" I cried. "It's for the best" he whispered. He joined me and josh's crying.
Tyler was crying to. He produced his ukulele and started strumming it.
"I know what you think in the morning, When the sun shines on the ground, And shows what you have done, It shows where your mind has gone, And you swear to your parents, That it will never happen again, I know, I know what that means, I know.
That you all have guns, And you never put the safety on, And you all have plans, To take it, to take it, Don't take it, take it, take it.
I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, But I can't, but I can't when you all have, Guns for hands, yeah
I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, But I can't, but I can't when you all have, Guns for hands, yeah
Let's take this a second at a time, Let's take this one song, this one rhyme, Together, let's breathe, Together, to the beat, But there's hope out the window, So that's where we'll go, Let's go outside and all join hands, But until then you'll never understand.
That you all have guns, And you never put the safety on, And you all have plans, To take it, to take it, Don't take it, take it, take it.
I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, But I can't, but I can't when you all have, Guns for hands, yeah.
We've turned our hands to guns, trade in our thumbs for ammunition, I must forewarn you, of my disorder, or my condition, 'Cause when the sun sets, it upsets what's left of my invested interest, Interested in putting my fingers to my head, The solution is, I see a whole room of these mutant kids, Fused at the wrist, I simply tell them they should shoot at this, Simply suggest my chest and this confused music, It's obviously best for them to turn their guns to a fist.
I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, But I can't, but I can't when you all have, Guns for hands, yeah.
I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep, But I can't, but I can't when you all have, Guns for hands, yeah."
He put the instrument down as I gave him a hug. "I-I wrote it specially for you. I know you go through a lot and your suicidal so I thought maybe this would help" he says nervously. "I love it. Thank you" I whisper. "It just needs a bit of drums, eh josh?" He looked over at josh who was wiping his eyes. He nodded.
"So...shall we take you home?" Brendon asks. I nodded. "But first" they stopped. "Can we go to the police station?" I ask quietly. "Of course"
