but who would date a broken girl? | j.w.d

35

warning: this chapter contains sexual assault (I don't explain it dw but you'll see what I mean when you get to that part)

today was josh's birthday! it was the weekend so that was awesome! first we were all going to the water park to have some fun!

I got dressed into this:

we changed there plans. instead of a water park we were going to a theme park.

we got into brendons dad's van (7 in each car!). me, josh, Brendon, Sarah, Jenna, Tyler & Melanie in one car and Patrick, pete, Hayley, Ashley, spencer, dallon and Ryan in one.

we all said happy birthday to josh. we sang it in the car too. he just laughed and smiled.

we made it to the theme park and went on many many rides. it was so much fun. all 14 of us. 14! it seems crazy to think of it! there was a Taco Bell at the theme park too.

we all started to just walk around. then ashley turned some music on and me and brendon knew the song and the dance so we danced together making everyone laugh. brendon and me would often dance whenever we got bored. Sarah knew a few too so she joined in. It was so much fun. I slipped and fell into a puddle making us all laugh more.

After those hours we went home at about 3. the party started at 5. brendon went to sarah's house to get ready as he left his outfit there. he did drive me home though.

I had a shower and got ready into this:

I added some black converse and did my make up and curled my hair a little. I grabbed a black side bag and put my phone, money, gum and keys inside.

I headed out and saw Michelle was there with Molly and Lily. "Hi Cat!" She smiled. I was about to go back into the house when she stopped me. "We wanna talk to you" she says. "We're so sorry about bullying you. We didn't think about your feelings and thought it was okay. It was so stupid of us! We feel so ashamed and are sorry" she says kindly.

"I guess I forgive you" I said to her. "We were wondering if you wanted a ride to josh's house" she says. "Brendons gonna pick me up-" she cut me off. "We insist!" She pulled me to her car and pushed me into the back.
"Oh um okay"

Lily started the car and drove off. This should be okay. I mean, they apologised. They meant it.

We got onto some weird road. It was dark and full of abandoned houses. "are you sure this is the right place?" I asked. "Of course! We took a short cut! You have to walk from here!" It didn't seem right but I shrugged it off.

We started walking and made it to a house. "This isn't josh's house!" I said. "Precisely!" The three girls pushed me inside the house and slammed the door behind them. It was dark and gross. "What the fuck?" I exclaimed. "Your THAT gullible Urie? You really think I would be sorry for YOU? Never! You deserve everything you get! You shouldn't even be alive! Your a ugly human being! And your about the get what you really deserve!"

She locked the door shut. Two boys appeared. I didn't know who they were. The girls stepped back and giggled. The boys stepped closer to me. I grew scared. I backed up against the wall. One of them grabbed me and held me to the floor. I gasped in pain. "W-what are you doing!?" I exclaimed as the other one took my shoes off and my bag. They threw them against the wall. ""No! No please!" I started to cry.

I'm not writing about what happened after. It's too hard.

But I was alone now. I got up weakly, crying hard. I can't believe she did that. I felt so disgusting. I felt impure. I felt so worthless. I sobbed harder as I looked round the room. I dressed myself and found my phone in my bag. I turned it on. It's 7pm! I had so many miss calls from my friends.

I called josh. he picked up before the first ring. "Cat where are you!?" I bursted out crying. "Help me" I wept. "Cat where are you?" "I-i don't know. I'm sorry!" I cried harder. "Dude I did find my iPhone! Let's go!" I heard Brendon say to me. "Babe stay on the phone!" Josh's voice usually calmed me down but this time it didn't. I was a mess of tears, blood and messy make up.

josh finally made it. he put an arm round me but I quickly moved away at his touch. "babe..." he sounded hurt. "d-don't" I whispered. he helped me up somehow and lead me to the car. we made it and brendon got out and hugged me. I cried harder into his arms. I let josh hug me too.

we made it to josh's house where all my friends were. I asked josh if we could speak privately. he agreed. Sarah gave me a mug of hot chocolate before me and josh went to his room.

I cried more when we got up there. Josh comforted me but I couldn't calm down. "I feel so disgusting" I sobbed. "Babe. Your beautiful" he whispered.

"J-josh" I whispered. "I-I..." I could barley speak. "I was raped" I cried more. Josh started to cry too. We were in a soggy mess together, holding each other. "W-who did this?" He wept. "M-Michelle offered me a lift to your house. But she arranged for two boys to do that" I cried out.

I think my friends heard because I heard crying downstairs. "Babe. We need to report this. This is illegal. Your a minor. This is wrong...babe I'm so sorry I love you" josh cried more.

After a while we finally went downstairs. I took turns hugging my friends. They were all upset and angry. Brendon was literally screaming into Sarah's shoulder.

I still felt the pain and the bruised were still there.

I showered a few minuets later. No water in the world could make me feel any cleaner.

I got changed into one of josh's t shirts and a pair of his boxers (they looked like shorts on me). I headed downstairs and sat in josh's lap. "I'm sorry for ruining your birthday" I whispered. "You didn't ruin it. What's important is your okay" he said softly, gliding his warm hand up and down my arms. I flinched as he felt the fresh new cuts from the shower I just had. He didn't say anything. He just pulled me closer to him.

Brendon looked horrible. He couldn't stop crying. He was continuously blaming himself. I told him to calm down and he did, knowing he was upsetting me.

josh let me stay the night. we all did. we got his mattress and laid it on the floor along with another two from the guests room. we put lot of blankets and pillows down to.

everyone borrowed clothes from josh or any of his parents old clothes. we got into bed and laid like this: Sarah, Brendon, me, josh, tyler, Jenna. Everyone fell asleep minus me. I got out of bed and sat in the arm chair sobbing. I woke tyler and josh up who comforted me to the best of their ability.

I ended up crying myself to sleep.

This was so hard to write.