but who would date a broken girl? | j.w.d

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"josh!" i screamed. i screamed louder and louder in this forest, hoping someone would hear me. "IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?" I cried.

no one. I'm alone.

I put my hands on the ground trying to find my phone. when I finally grabbed it I held on to the home button. "Call Josh" I mumbled weakly. "Calling Josh" Siri replied dialling for my boyfriend. "Cat where are you!?" He picked up straight away. "Help me" I whispered starting to cry. "Cat baby where are you?" He asks me gently. "F-forest" I muttered. "The forest!?" The line went dead.

"I'm here it's okay" josh picked me up and carried me to his car. Brendon was inside crying. He saw me and relieve washed over his face. "W-what happened?" I whispered. "I'll tell you later. Rest" josh laid me in the back seat and put a blanket over me. "S-stay" I stammered. He sat in the first seat so my head was on his lap. The doors closed and I fell asleep.

I woke up in his arms. "j-josh" I mumbled. I felt eyes on me. My eyes swivelled round the room. Brendon, Sarah, tyler and jenna were all here. I literally didn't know what was going on. "d-do you remember anything?" tyler sidled up to me and held my hand. "n-no" "do we tell her?" he looked at josh who was crying. josh nodded. I tried to sit up but I fell off the couch.

Everyone scrambled to their feet to help me up. I sat in josh's lap, leaning against his chest while he held he protectively. Sweet Sarah came and sat beside me. "you had an anxiety attack. and your voices wouldn't stop. you ran away and we couldn't find you. but it's okay now because your safe" she gave me a small hug. "I'm sorry" I whispered. "don't be" she smiled a bit at me and sat down next to sad brendon urie.

I felt so horrible for putting my friends through all this. I started to cry. "I'm so sorry" I cried. "Cat don't be. You didn't do anything wrong" tyler said to me. "Stupid me put you all through that" "Cat no. Your not stupid! Your not any of those bad things you call yourself! I fucking hate it when you put yourself down! Your my best friend and a pretty lady. Don't you ever think otherwise!" Brendon shot. "Sorry" I mumbled. "Cat I'm not mad I'm just saying that your a good kid and you shouldn't doubt yourself. We all chose to help you because your our friend" he added.

"Are you guys hungry?" Jenna asks. I was very hungry. I hadn't eaten for two days. Everyone said yes minus me. "Cat?" josh nudged me. I shook my head. "Cat you need to eat" he says to me. "I'm not hungry" I muttered. "Cat, please" his voice cracked. I got up and left the room as I didn't want to see him cry again.

I sat in josh's bedroom crying my eyes out. I hated myself so much. I put my friends through so much. I'm such a waste of space. I wish that I was dead. When I was 13 years old, tying the noose to a tree.

I stood on the stool and put my neck through the noose. I kicked the stool away. Finally time to end it all... then I was on the ground in the arms of a crying boy. I look up at the boy. Brendon. "Don't you ever think about doing that again!" He cried hugging me.

Maybe they just care. I mean why would they be here now. My thoughts got interrupted by me being crushed into a girl hug with Sarah & Jenna. "We care" Jenna whispered. "I know. I'm sorry" I mumbled. "Don't push us away. Please. We want to be here for you" Sarah says gently. I nodded.  

We all headed back downstairs. Josh had his head in his lap and was crying, tyler and brendon were trying to comfort him. They spotted us and stepped away from josh. I sat down next to josh and laced our fingers together. He gripped on to my hand tightly. Jenna and tyler went out to buy us all food and brendon and Sarah sent out to buy us all dessert.

"do you want a snack?" josh asks me.
"not hungry" I mumbled.
"liar" he lifted my t shirt up. I quickly put it down. "Don't starve yourself. I think your beautiful" he says sweetly. I leaned against his forearm. "What did i do to deserve you?" I mumbled.

So after about an hour (most of it was spent making out with josh) the food was here. Josh put a movie on and we all sat in a bunch on the couch watching it and eating.

It was nice to be with my friends.