'Doc Juan'

Chapter 22

"Would ya like a cookie? Mum sent me a care package after she heard that I was scarred after witnessin ol Fr. Frederick conkin off like that. Her famous gooey chocolate chip cookies. Awww...they're extra gooey, since they've been sittin out in the mail. Mail, which I pay ya to bring in, need I remind ya?" he offered, setting the large hamper down on her cluttered desk. "Is that why ya insisted on mentionin that incident in your last letter to her? So, you'd receive a bloody care package?! This package rightfully belongs to that poor ol priest who underwent two open heart surgeries....although, I think that second one was just an excuse to milk him for his money! It's a miracle he pulled through!" Elle revealed, politely pushing away the hand that held the cookie and shooting him an accusing gaze that seemed to magnify in the glow of her laptop display. "Ah! Open heart surgery, eh? I remember my first surgical procedure. I was 12, in the backyard o' my house, away from my bickerin folks...An' I found this ol toad, strugglin to breath. I performed a tracheotomy on the spot with nothin but my pocket knife. Sadly, it croaked right there in my arms. I bawled all day an' mum had to make me her famous cookies just so I wouldn't be scarred for life after that!" he recounted braggingly, licking his chocolatey fingers as he spoke. "Wow! A Scottish Doogie Howser, huh?" Elle remarked, trying to sound impressed although she was trying not to scrunch her face up in disgust at the mention of a slimy, dying toad. "Heh! Doogie Howser wishes he was me! Now, shut up an' have a cookie. They're really good!" he insisted. "Sorry, I can't. I prefer souffles an' right now, I'm really busy digitizin the medical records, doctor." she excused herself, shrinking back as the sticky, melting chocolate dripped all over her desk and the important papers strewn all over it. "Soufflés are for losers. An' ya need a break. Consider it an evenin treat. " he whispered, pushing the papers off her desk as she reached out with a tissue to dab them clean. "I don't really need those to digitize the records..." she muttered, sighing on seeing the mess of strewn papers on the floor. "Well, I don't really know what those are then! But, I did need a place to set down my scotch. Mum runs the distillery back home, did I mention?" he exclaimed, slamming the heavy glass bottle onto the table.
"Ooh...scotch! That I can do! Although, I don't think cookies an' scotch go together, doctor." she cautioned, her eyes widened and her throat felt parched on seeing the strong smelling liquid in front of her. "They went together when I started drinkin at 14 after my parents' divorce. Went together when my mum started livin in a smelly trailer with that aspirin actor who later went on to become my ex- stepdad. Went together when my parents got together...An' got divorced again! Oh! That was also around the time I'd to go through with my med finals with all their bloody yellin goin on in the background too!" he begged to differ, listing out all the depressing moments in his life when the intoxicating mixture of cookies and scotch had pulled him through. "If I'm gonna hear more bout your sob story, I think I'll need a drink, mate!" she interrupted, her gaze still fixed on the scotch. "Oi! Ya don't drink scotch straight outta the...Oh, yer already doin it! Never mind!" he cried out, horrified as she snatched the bottle off the desk and lost no time in opening it, putting it to her drooling lips and chugging away thirstily! "Blimey! That's good stuff!" she praised, finally setting it down after having her fill and licking her lips clean. He sighed in relief on seeing that she hadn't finished it all off.