'Doc Juan'

Chapter 21

"Doctor, you won't mind poppin into the church on the way back, would you?" mumsy requested, as they passed by a church on the way back to the clinic from the restaurant. "Mumsy, we're all really tired....." Elle grumbled, her hands wrapped firmly around the steering wheel and her feet away from the brakes in no hurry to stop at the church. "That's no excuse for skippin church, young lady! I just wanna give thanks to the Lord for blessin ya with such a handsome man to call your own. An' perhaps I'll pop into the confessional while I'm there." mumsy insisted. "C'mon, hobnob, it's what mumsy wants. Wouldn't wanna disappoint er, would we?" Dr. Miller seconded, breaking out the puppy eyes just to impress the old lady. "Aww...such a sweetheart, he is!" an impressed mumsy cooed. "Fine! But, I'm stayin in the car. Never been much of a religious person." Elle was forced to give in, pulling up with a roll of her eyes at his puppy eyed look. "Nonsense! We're all gonna pop in for mass an' confession. No exceptions, young lady!" mumsy ordered from the backseat. "Dr. Miller in a confessional? Adultery's the first sin that pops into mind!" Elle muttered under her breath, as mumsy hustled her out of the car.
"There ya are, spoutin nonsense again! He seems like the cleanest sorta bloke! Probably never committed a sin in his life, eh, dear?" mumsy heaped praise upon the grinning doctor, nudging him with a proud smile. "I'll just pop in an' see if Fr. Frederick's in. Doctor, you'll like him. In his seventies, bout my age, kind ol man. " she continued, leading the way to the church which she was familiar with since she visited it every time she came to London. "Seventy?! Why, Mrs. Vitino, ya don't look a day o'er..." he began, flirtatiously. "Seventy-five! She's seventy-five, an' not a day over it!" Elle interjected quickly, uncomfortable whenever his mouth opened and she heard the flirty talk roll off his tongue, especially around an easily impressed mumsy!  "Thanks for the clarification, Eulalie Annette Vitino. Let's go inside before she puts me down further, doctor!" mumsy retorted, hurt by her protective daughter's interjection. "Hobnob? Is that gonna stick, by the way?" Elle asked the doctor as they followed the old lady, hand-in-hand as they kept up their act. "I thought it'd give us a cute ol couple charm...Sorta vintage, eh?" he replied with a pleased grin, squeezing her hand warmly as he spoke. "Are ya sure all the bickerin an' whisperin isn't doin that? " she whispered jokingly, eliciting a chuckle from him."C'mon, ya two hobnobs!" mumsy called out from a pew in the church, patting the empty space next to her. "See? Mumsy's buyin it already!" he pointed out with a toothy grin.
"What's wrong? Leavin already? Boy! You're a quick confessor!" she enquired, spotting him scurrying towards the door after confession. "I might've just killed good ol Fr. Frederick. Given im a heart attack! Now, before ya get yer knickers in a bunch, it was an accident." he replied with a gulp. "How'd ya accidentally kill him?!" she cried out in a horrified manner. Her cries elicited an angry glance and a shush from an old nun kneeling in the next pew. "Oi, pipe down! Well, I was confessin....ahem, braggin bout all the women I'd slept with, includin the two...uh, make that three cute nuns in boardin school..." he explained, pulling her aside to a corner of the church away from prying eyes and eavesdropping ears. "Wait a min....nuns?! Ya do shag anythin that moves, dontcha?" she interrupted, shocked on hearing him."Oi! I was only 16...young, foolish, really handsome...and incredibly great in bed! Can you imagine? At that age too!" he reminisced boastfully, veering away from the topic of his confessionalist's death until Elle flashed him an impatient glare.  "Anyway, ol codger must've tipped o'er towards the end. I tried CPR, but he wouldn't respond! I should probably have left out the details o' all the passionate lovemakin..." she heard him regret."Poor ol man's got a feeble heart an' ya had to go on bout your adulterous adventures an' kill the pious fella!" she reprimanded, punching him in the arm angrily. "Oi! The confession was yer idea! " he reminded, rubbing his aching arm as he spoke. "I said confess your sins...Not go into details of your sex life an' all the passionate, adulterous lovemakin...to a man of God! Couldn't ya have left all that out an' made up a bunch of sins, like writin false prescriptions or somethin? Lie, like I do every time I don't want to confess anythin too personal...or anythin, really!" she exclaimed. "Could've used that advice earlier! Good thing he absolved me before conkin off, eh? I think we should grab mumsy an' get goin, yeah? I hear sirens in the  distance. Someone must've found im clutchin his chest on the confessional floor." the nervous doctor suggested, hurriedly. "May God rest his soul...An' save yours! Poor man literally died for your sins!" she scolded, before he impatiently tugged her along so they could make their escape!  "So, how'd the confession go, doctor?" mumsy asked, standing up from the pew and greeting the couple on seeing them hurrying along." With  all that guilt off my mind, I'm in such a better place now!" Dr. Miller replied, dabbing at his sweaty forehead as he spoke. "An' so is Fr. Frederick!" he heard an equally nervous Elle mutter beside him, as she squeezed his sweaty hand.