'Doc Juan'

Chapter 28

Of course, mumsy finding out about his womanizing past wasn't the only thing Dr. Miller had to worry about. As he discovered later that morning, there was something much worse coming up! "Could ya pass me the soap, love?" he called out from the bathroom, knowing that Elle was busy hanging up the laundry in the living room on the other side of the door."Mumsy's always movin it to the sink...argh! Want me to come in an' lather ya up too?" she asked, flashing him a saucy smile as she handed him the soap.  "Ooh...never had shower sex before..." he whispered eagerly, as she decided to join him in the shower. "Just been talkin to mumsy over breakfast an' she's been thinkin of payin Fr. Frederick a visit. She thinks that he should bless our union...whatever that means! " she revealed, wrapping her arms around him as he started to nuzzle past her soaking wet hair and began nibbling at her delicate ears. "Suddenly, I'm not so much in the mood!" he exclaimed, putting an end to his pleasurable nibbling on hearing her. "It's not about the mood. You're finally gettin the opportunity to have shower sex an' I'm savin money on the water bill." she joked, to lighten the mood which she'd unintentionally  spoilt by mentioning the man whom he'd unintentionally sent to the emergency room!
"Ya know what's the first thing that pops into my mind when I hear ya say that we're visitin Fr. Frederick? Imagine this - We're all by the ol man's side in his hospital room an' he suddenly comes to, rememberin me as the fella who gave him a heart attack, then tried to administer CPR unsuccessfully an' then ran the hell outta there. An' then he remembers what I'd confessed. An' while mumsy rambles on about how we're meant to be together...he's gonna rise up weakly an' point at me accusingly with a tremblin finger and hissingly go- womanizer!" the hesitant doctor spelt it out for her. "Are ya sayin you're afraid that harmless Fr. Frederick's gonna out ya?! That's ridiculous! Besides, what happens in the confessional stays in the confessional. They've got rules about confidentiality an' stuff." Elle cried out, rolling her eyes at him and pointing out the ridiculousness of it all. "I hope yer right. I just don't wanna go in for a blessin an' come out with curse words aimed at me!" he argued, throwing his hands up as he spoke.  "It's church. They've got rules about swearin too! Besides, it's what mumsy wants, hobnob! " she tried to persuade him in a  comforting manner, gently tapping at his nose with a finger in a bid to turn his frown upside down."Church?! Wait... Yer takin me back to the scene o' the crime?!" he yelled out in a horrified manner.  "Quit exaggeratin! He's celebratin his first mass since he was discharged from the hospital." she explained. "Yup! He's gonna out me in public! Just as I suspected, in front o' the whole bloody congregation!" an overreacting Dr. Miller sputtered.  "If ya don't stop exaggeratin, I'm gonna out ya in front of the whole bloody congregation, you...!" she snapped.
"Sweetheart, that's a whole lotta cussin! You'd better get to a confessional as soon as we get there! Now, don't spend too much time in the shower, ya two." she heard mumsy's voice interrupt, before the shower curtain was pulled aside and a nosy head poked in!  "Mumsy! I'm in here with my boyfriend...An' we're both naked...! " a beet red Elle scolded, taken aback by her mother's interruption as she attempted to cover up her modesty with her hands while Dr. Miller quickly snatched a towel off the rack and wrapped it around his waist. "Relax! I just came in to wash my dentures. Swear I'd left the soap by the sink. Anyway, fancy ya, not followin your own rules an' wastin all the water...hmph! " mumsy scoffed, quite used to seeing her own daughter in her birthday suit many times before during her infancy. "C'mon, mumsy. I'll give ya a hand washin those. " the kind doctor offered, still wearing only a towel as he led the old lady away in a bid to avoid any more awkwardness."Maybe, wear somethin first? A shirt or pants, perhaps? Oh, great! My boyfriend alone with my mum....in nothin but a towel!" Elle called out behind them, groaning in disappointment as he slipped out of her embrace with a promise that he'd return and they'd resume their intimate moment. "Mumsy's a grown woman. She doesn't mind! I bet she's seen er share o' handsome, naked men in er time." he flirted, with a teasing smile. "Just her dad. He was no looker. He had a nubbin, ya know? An' down there? The size of his...."  mumsy began to recount in an unimpressed manner. "That'd be my cue to tune outta this awkward conversation! Have fun, ya two." Elle muttered, shuddering in disgust as she pulled the curtain aside and hoped that the sound of the running water would drown out their conversation. "Ya know, nubbins are lucky. Read up about em in med school. More importantly, I wanted to talk about our visit to Fr. Frederick. D'you think we could move that? Cuz I've got a thing that I can't postpone..." she heard the faint voice of her boyfriend making up excuses to get out of meeting the old priest. But, knowing her stubborn mother, she knew mumsy wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily!