Forever and Always // Ashton Irwin (#Wattys2017)

20 - Hanging By a Moment

Hanging By a Moment - Lifehouse

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you

A S H T O N

Today was June 7th. For the past four years, this had been the day I had been looking forward to.

It was our wedding day.

It was supposed to be the best day of mine and Jordyn's life. The key words being "supposed to."

Jordyn was still unconscious like she had been for the past three weeks.

My depression was increasingly getting worse and worse as Jordyn showed very little signs of improvement.

It was currently 7:02 p.m. and I'd been at Jordyn's bedside all day. My mom had been bugging me all day, telling me to "go for a walk" or "go get some air."

I was already getting fucking air. I was getting so much I felt like I was suffocating. All I had been doing the past three weeks was breathing. Jordyn couldn't even do that, she had a machine breathing for her.

I felt selfish. I felt guilty. I felt every emotion so harshly that it all began to feel the same. I no longer cried. I no longer smiled. I no longer cared about myself or anyone else for that matter.

I felt numb.

My eyes drooped as I rested my head on my fist. I was ready for the day to be over.

I was ready to wake up from this nightmare.

I almost didn't hear the monotonous beeping noises coming from the machines anymore. My mind had blocked them out.

I wished I could block my thoughts out. For the past three weeks, my mind had been screaming at me. I just wanted it all to stop.

"Ashton," Evelyn's voice whispered. I looked at her through my peripherals because I didn't feel like moving.

"Ashton, I brought you a coffee." She had now positioned herself in front of me so I no longer had to look out of the corner of my eye.

"Thanks," I mumbled as my shaking hand reached out and took the hot cup from her.

"Ashton," she began as she sat down next to me. I already knew what she was going to say. I internally rolled my eyes.

"You need to go home and get some rest."

"I'm going to stay with Jordyn." I said bluntly as I sipped the scalding hot coffee. I didn't even care that I burned some of my tastebuds.

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. In reality, it had been only four minutes before Evelyn spoke again.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked. I frowned at the cup of coffee I was holding.

"Not really in the talking mood." I responded.

"You don't have to say anything." Her hand reached over and wrapped around mine. I looked up at her as she squeezed my hand. A sympathetic smile appeared on her face.

"Ashton, you are like my brother. I love you and I am here if you need to talk." I nodded as I looked away.

We sat in silence for another five or so minutes before it was my turn to break the silence.

"Jordyn is  barely hanging on by a thread and I'm sitting here, hanging by a moment." I looked up at Evelyn. Her eyes were filled with tears.

"I can't get the accident out of my mind. Let's face it Evelyn, Jordyn is going to die."

Evelyn looked away from me and wiped her eyes.

"I can't handle much more heartbreak," she sighed.

"Me neither." My phone started ringing in my pocket. I slid down in my seat so I was able to pull it out of my pocket.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi, Ashton!" Rosa Lane's perky voice responded on the other end of the line. Her voice triggered an immense aching pain in my heart.

"What can I do for you, Rosa?"

"Ashton, I'm going to need you to come down by the office before we close at eight and sign the papers. I'm going to be on a plane for Aruba in the morning and I won't be back for three weeks. If you don't come the deal will fall through."

I bit my lip. I didn't know what to do.

"Go," Evelyn whispered to me. "I'll stay with Jordyn."

"Okay, I'll be there." The words came out of my mouth before I could even stop them.

"Great! See you soon!"

"Bye." I muttered as I hung up.

"What if-"

"Ashton, don't think like that. Do it for Jordyn. I will call you if anything happens, I promise."

I looked her in the eyes and nodded.

Evelyn was right. I had to do this, for Jordyn.

I stood up and bent over Jordyn. My lips gently kissed her forehead.

"I'll be right back, my love. I promise."

I made my way to the door and looked at Jordyn.

"You promise?" I asked Evelyn.

"I promise." 

Author's Note:

It has definitely been more than a week since I updated last & for that I am sorry. The break I took has been WONDERFUL. I've known for a while where I've wanted the rest of the book to go. I wanted to surprise you all & post the rest of the book as my next update but I decided since it has been so long, to just start with the next chapter. Thank you for sticking by me in this two month long hiatus. Once again, I am truly sorry. I do though, feel better about finishing this book in the next couple of weeks. So stay tuned for weekly updates once again! 

ALSO: there are only 5 more chapters left + an epilogue.

Thank you for 6k!

ALL THE LOVE, 

Jenna