12- secrets

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Happy birthday Jenna!!
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"Josh?" I whispered.

"Yes?" Came a voice in the dark.

We were currently laying on my bed in the dark just talking to each other at 12 am.

"Please don't leave me alone tonight." I pleaded.

"Ok anything for you. But why?"

"I..." I stopped myself wondering if I should tell him why I've been so afraid of myself. "I'm afraid."

"Of what the dark?" He joked. He looked over and saw the serious expression on my face. "Oh. I'm sorry."

I tried to bite back tears. "Just promise me you won't."

"I won't. I love you too much to."

I felt a little better and snuggled up against his neck.

"But why? Why are you afraid?"

"I..." I breathed out. This is it. "Promise me, that when I'm done speaking, you won't leave me because you think I'm a freak. I don't need someone to break my heart and run off with my secrets at the same time."

"I promise. And I would never do that to you."

I smiled. I can tell him.

"When I was 13, my mother overdosed. She was drunk and decided to take too many anxiety pills. After that, my dad decided to drink away his problems and he became an alcoholic. He began abusing me and my sister, who was only 1 at the time, so every night I would take her out and just walk around.

My sister, who was going to turn 16 this year, was depressed. So was I, but I never had a high level. She began cutting and she never told me about it. When I found out, I was heartbroken. She was my only family.

A month ago, she committed suicide. Ruby, my sister, over dosed on her anti depressants." I chocked out. I was drowning in my own tears.

"Ever since then, I've been hearing voices, saying that her taking her life was my fault, I was a bad big sister. And my dad started drinking even more and started getting more harsher with the abuse. So I moved out. He currently doesn't know where I am and I'm never going to tell him."

I looked at Josh for any hint of expression. He seemed speechless.

"Tori, I-I didn't know all this. I'm so sor-" I cut him off.

"Don't give me your pity Josh. There's a difference between caring and pitying." I snapped.

"I'm sorry I'm just tense, you're the third person to know this besides Haylee and..." I stopped, not wanting to bring up my ex.

"And who?" Josh questioned.

"Jaelyn" I whispered.

"Who's that?"

"M-my abusive ex."

"Jaelyn Roberts?"

"Josh, please don't bring up his- wait how do you know him?"

"He's my neighbor."

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