Muscled Mafia Love {manxman}

Chapitre Vingt.

"I didn't know happiness until I met you."

~

Muscled Mafia Love: Chapitre Vingt

"These will surely heal in a few days. They are closed but they need just a little more time." Nikari smiled softly at me and I nodded in appreciation. "Thank you, Nikari. Without you, I'm not even sure if I would be living right now." I chuckled darkly and she shook her head. "Don't thank me." She smirked, pointing at the man between my legs. "Thank him." I grinned down at the oversized man laying between my legs, his head on my stomach as he wrapped his arms around me. 

"Ah, sorry." I laughed sheepishly. "He didn't want to leave. Something about wanting to make sure I was safe." I beamed up at her and she tilted her head, looking at me like she knew something I didn't. "First time I ever met you, you were so shy and you didn't anyone to look at you. You were so scared of everything and now, look at you." She pointed at me in a grand gesture. "You're smiling. For the first time in forever, you genuinely smile." She rubbed my hair affectionately and I felt my heart skip a beat.

"You also have John to thank for that too." She took off her gloves, disposing of them in a nearby trashcan and exiting the room, in higher spirits. "Ah, John. What have you done to me?" I asked out loud, getting a loud snore as an answer. He was snoring as loudly as he could ever, blanketing me with his warmth as his drool slipped out onto my stomach. I had no idea how we got into this position when he was laying next to me, but I wasn't complaining. I felt safe and secure. 

"Romeo, when are you going to wake up?" I ran a hand through his hair, not liking how it hid his face from me. "I'm bored." I whined, poking him on his cheek. He grunted and turned his face to the other side and I pouted. Wow, look at me. A twenty eight year old man fawning for the attention of someone a year my junior. Who would have thought? But I couldn't help but think that I could relax now and enjoy the feeling. I was so on edge, thinking that this would be ripped out from under sooner rather than later, but it didn't feel that way. 

It felt as if John fit right exactly where he was. It was as if he was made just for me. You know, in all of 28 years of life, never have I ever met someone like you." I played with his hair, smiling unconsciously. "It's weird, how I can't go long without you by my side. It physically pains me to not see you." I wondered what this feeling was, not having felt this before. He grunted into my abs, as if he was agreeing with me. "It's like I can be myself when I'm with you." I confessed, not knowing what it meant.

"I have never believed in second chances, at all. Ever since the first day my father beat me and burned me with the ends of his cigarettes, I knew that couldn't have been true." I leaned back against the bed, letting out a sigh of remorse. "I went through life unhappy and it didn't stop there, no. I was bullied in high school and I hated it so much." I clenched my fists in remembrance. "My own step-sister and my own brother tormented me and made my life a living hell and I never knew why. They made me feel disgusted with myself, to the point where I couldn't even look in the mirror or let anyone else touch me, in fear that they saw what I saw." I explained, not feeling upset about it.

"Every person I've met ran in the other direction once they saw just how many scars I had on my body. They saw me weird every time I flinched when they touched me in some way. I was always afraid and I thought it would never." I continued running a hand through his hair.

"That's when I met you."

I grinned in memory of that same day. "It was terrifying, how I was able to let you touch me and not flinch. I was able to be myself and not have to hide behind a facade. All because of you, my worries faded away, one by one." I covered my face with my free, unable to suppress my happy laugh. "I have no idea what it means but I'm not looking forward to it ending." It made me afraid, just how easy it was for me to bare my soul to John. He had already seen the worst of me and he had already seen just how terrible Zicara Kiloway could be, but he never faltered.