Pleasure

Chapter Ten

I wake up to my phone's alarm clock ringing loudly. My lips purse upwards, as memories of last night with Jacob flood my mind. The sheets feel warmer than usual; softer than usual. I don't want to leave my bed, but I know I have to get up eventually.

As I pull the covers off my body, a question dawns on me. Jacob and I aren't official, so what are we? I mean, at this point we're obviously more than friends but he hasn't once brought up the "r" word to me (that being relationship, of course). I'm not big into the labels and I don't know if being in an actual relationship with him will change anything. I'm hoping he will ask me soon. It feels like I've been waiting for forever. I know people at school will look at me strange, but I don't care. All I care about is Jacob for some reason. He's on my mind more than ever and I can't help but smile at the mere thought of him.

At school, everything seems a bit off. Lucas isn't here, so that leaves me and Natalie. Courtney's been glaring at me for most of the day and at this point, it's getting annoying. I want to ask her what her problem is, but I have a feeling that will only end badly. I'm a sweet girl, but my temper can get out of hand at times.

During chemistry class, we work on labs in the back. I, being an independent, anti-social 17 year old, work alone in the back of the room. I look up from my burner and notice Jacob walking in late with the same expressionless look on his face. I scrunch my eyebrows and observe as he drops his bag, hands the teacher the note, and listens to her explain instructions to him. He grabs a pair of goggles and stalks back to the lab area. He leans against my table and sighs. I look up at him with a curious look in my eye.

"What?"

"I don't want to be here," he complains, putting the goggles on his head.

I giggle at him, fixing my fire until it's a bluish tint color. "You just got here."

"I know," he smirks and looks down at the flame. "Wanna be my partner?" His question makes my heart flutter in ways I can't fathom. Without thinking, my lips press together and slide up into a smile.

"What?"

"For the lab, do you want to be my partner?" Immediately my smile drops and I glare at him. I roll my eyes and turn off the flame. "What, what did I say?"

Luckily the bell rings, giving me an excuse to walk away. I put away my goggles, pack my things, and walk out the door. I start pacing to my car, feeling anger rise inside of me. How stupid can I be? What does he want if it's not a relationship? Is he really that stupid or am I just hoping for too much. At least the day is over, and I don't have to deal with him for the rest of the day. It's strange how easily he can influence my mood.

I feel a large hand wrap around my feeble arm and jerk me around. I look down at the hand, then at its owner. Jacob.

"What did I say Aria?" He questions me, clueless. I try to wiggle loose, but my arm doesn't budge. He raises his eyebrow and looks down at me with superiority.

"Let go of my arm." I bark, scowling at him. He stands his ground. "God, you're so annoying! You think just because you're hot you can play with my emotions! I'm not falling for your looks this time, Jacob. Just leave me alone. Figure out what you did on your own." I try wiggling away again, but his expressionless face stares down at me, not moving a muscle.

"That's not how this works." He snaps, holding my poky arm in his sturdy hand.

"And what exactly is this, Jacob?" I jerk my body towards his, leaning up to his face. "This isn't anything. You're so oblivious, what do you think I want?"

He rumples his eyebrows down at me, then loosens his demeanor. "Aria..." He sighs and lets go of my arm. "I can't."

"What?" I expected to hear something other than those two words.

"I can't do this, with you. I .. you don't understand. I have to go, I can't do this." He looks confused. He pinches his lips and stares down at the ground before walking away. I feel my heart drop and shatter, like glass breaking into a million pieces on the ground. I can't find words to stop him, so I watch as he trots away with his hands stuffed in his pockets while he stares down at the concrete.

I jiggle my keys into the car door and open the door. I sit for a minute, staring at my steering wheel. I can't even fathom what just happened. He completely blew me off. What did he even mean when he said he couldn't do it? I thought he wouldn't walk away, but he did. And with him, he took my heart strings, tucking it straight out my chest. I think I've been holding my breath since he's said the words. I exhale deeply and feel my tears building barriers behind my eyes. I can feel my soul recoiling into myself as my walls stand tall.

Whatever he's done to me, it's breaking me. And unlike the night in my bed, this was not a pleasure.