Chapter Thirty

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I bang on his hard wooden door with the back of my palm. I give myself a headache but there's nothing more I can do. I pull my hood up as rain starts to drizzle down once more.

Jacob swings the door open and immediately pauses when he sees me. His eyes are bloodshot red and puffy and hair is starting to grow on his face; which is a new but not so terrible look for him.

I let myself in and turn around, removing the hood from my head. He closes the door and swivels around, but says nothing.

"Tell me about you, Jacob." I state. He scrunches his eyebrows, seeming dazed and confused. He seeks an explanation, but so do I.

"Tell me about the woman and tell me about your past. Tell me all of it or I swear to God you'll never see me again."

He sighs and shakes his head, looking down. He takes five wobbly steps my way, before looking up at me with watery eyes. "I'm so fucking drunk, Aria."

I give him a strange look, almost disgusted. "Why?"

He hiccups and shrugs. He plops down on the ground and leans back, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"I don't know, guilt or whatever. That made me do it." He looks up at me with puppy dog eyes. "You know so little..." he mumbles. He bows his head, almost defeatedly.

"So tell me," I crouch down in front of him and pull his face up to mine. He searches my face, lost in the depths of his alcohol.

"I'm not good for you." His words remind of what Lucas said, and they strike the surface hard. It's like he knows this, but he doesn't want to believe it. I don't want to believe it.

"Tell me." I plead.

Jacob stands and wobbles, trying to gain his balance. He walks over to the couch before lying down. He holds his arms and squints at me, half smiling.

"Lay with me first." I chew my lip and look around the house. I notice the time and make a note of it. I walk over to Jacob and cuddle in beside him. He reeks of alcohol but his body is still warm and comforting.

He sighs quietly before swallowing a lump in his throat.

"He told you about the bar story, didn't he?" He rumbles lowly with alcohol on his breath.

"What?" I look up at him perplexed.

"Lucas. He told you about the bar story, didn't he?" My eyes trail away and I nod slowly. "I know you Aria, you're too curious to sit back and wait to find things out. That's what I like about you." I look up at him again, saying nothing.

"Her name is Chrystal. Or at least that's what she goes by. I met her a couple years ago, before Courtney or Lucas or anyone else. She was a friend of my uncle's. She was older, and I had no friends so she decided to show me the ropes -- amongst other things. I started doing a lot of bad shit, Aria. I thought she was my friend but she wasn't. She used for me sex and drugs and I let her. I don't know why, but I did. I was going down a bad path.

"When school started, that's when I met Lucas. He was cool and he hung out with me sometimes, but I know it was only out of pity. The night at the bar ... I don't know what he saw but it made him never talk to me again. I was fucked up that night. We both were. But I think he got confused."

I sit up and look down at him, leaning on one arm. I search his drunken face. He doesn't stare at me, although he knows I'm looking at him. I don't know enough. This is so confusing but I need to know more.

"Was Chrystal the girl you were with that night?" I ask. He looks at me with watery eyes, then nods slowly. I feel a knot in my throat, but I can't swallow it away.

"What were you two doing?" He closes his eyes and starts to shake his head slowly. He wipes his face and sits up with me. "Tell me." I warn, lowly.

"We ... we did a line. Then she wanted to ... have sex. That's when Lucas came in." He explains, not wanting to look me in the eye. Digging up his past is hard for him, I can tell.

"He didn't say much, he just left. After that, we never spoke again. People at school started looking at me strange or ending conversations when I came by. I was back to where I started."

"You didn't force her to do anything?"

"What?"

"You didn't force Chrystal ..." I trail off, hoping he'll catch my drift. I can tell he does when his face goes sour, then turns red. I stand from the couch and prepare for him to explode.

"What? No! Is that what he fucking told you?!" I say nothing. He stands and looks down at me. "I didn't fucking rape her! Is that what you think? Is that the only reason you came?!"

"No!" I bark back. "I came because I'm tired of the lies, Jacob! I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

"You do!" He urges with veins beginning to rise from his neck and arm.

"Then how come I still don't know why Chrystal kissed you?!" I scream. My question makes him stop. His face softens as he looks at me, like he's pitying me. He sighs quietly and lowers his head.

"She's back in town and she's been trying to see me. I was avoiding her but then she showed up and ..."

"And kissed you right on the lips." I finish his sentence with a harsh tone. "Yeah, I know."

He takes baby steps towards me while saying, "I didn't plan for any of that Aria." He plants his hands on both sides of my cheek. I try to look away but he pulls my face back to his.

"Hey," he whispers. "I promise Aria. I don't care what Lucas told you, or what anyone else tells you, I'm telling you right now. I didn't do anything to Chrystal. And I haven't talked to her in years. She came to me. I wouldn't hurt you like that."

I stare into those fascinating green eyes. He's fucking doing it again. He's making me fall all over again and I can't do shit but let him. He knows how to work me until I can't be worked anymore. Every word he speaks in sloppily sincere and I don't know if it's drunk Jacob or sober Jacob. His eyes are passionate and deep.

He brings his face to mine and pauses, brushing his lips softly against mine. He plants a delicate kiss on my lips and pulls away. He brings his lips back to mine, this time sloppier and harsher. His wet tongue forces its way into my mouth as the breath from my lungs. I feel lust invade my body as his hands press against my stomach. I pull at his hair and press my body against his.

He pulls away from my lips and whispers, "Go to my bed."

I do as I'm told ...

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