Pleasure

Chapter Fifty

I haven't heard from Jacob. Every time I relive that moment, a pain arises in my chest and it's almost suffocating. He's walked away from me in the past, but I didn't expect him to walk away from something like this. I've only called a few times but of course he didn't answer. I expect him to show up. I can't imagine him just walking away, he wouldn't be able to live with himself. Waiting on him now is the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought telling him would make me feel better but my heart aches in ways I can't explain.

My phone buzzes and my eyes immediately travel to my screen. Unfortunately, it's not Jacob, it's Natalie. I groan and consider not answering, but I pick up.

"Hello?" I answer in a tone that makes her sigh sadly.

"Where are you?" I look around my living room. It's been messy but I've been so tired, I haven't cleaned up much.

"At home?"

"Get dressed, we're going out." She sounds perky, which only makes me want to vomit more sadness.

"I'm not in the mood to go out. I'm not in the mood to go anywhere."

She sighs once more. Natalie is one of the nicest people I've ever met and she only means well, but I can tell my depression is getting on her nerves. I know she wants to slap me back into reality and tell me that I'll get through this.

"Aria, you can't really tell me no. I'm at your front door." I scrunch my eyebrows and pop up from my couch. I walk over to my door and open it. I see Natalie standing there with a wide grin on her face. I step back, signaling for her to come in.

"Oh no, we're going out. You don't need to be cooped up in this tiny apartment all day." I like my apartment, I think to myself. "Come on, Aria. Just get dressed." She says, compassionately. She probably pities me. Either way, I do as she requests and slip on a clean outfit. I grab my house keys and tuck my hands in my hoodie pockets before looking at her like a teenage daughter would look at her mother when she doesn't want to go out in public with her.

"What are you and the little one craving?" She asks as she pokes my belly with a smile. I haven't told anyone else besides Jacob about my pregnancy, but out of the two, she has to be the most excited about this baby.

I shrug and think. "I could use a burger I guess."

"Your wish is my command." She smiles and we leave the house. We drive to a local pub and get some food. It's not until I get there do I realize how hungry I actually am. I get a burger, a plate of fries, a large milkshake, and a mini lava cake. I'm going to be so fat and I'm definitely going to regret this, but at this moment I don't think I really care.

"Wow, I guess you really are eating for two." Natalie notes, staring down at my buffet of food before comparing it to her small plate of salad. I nod while savoring the taste of melted cheese. I look up and see her giving me a sympathetic look.

"What?" I question after swallowing some food.

"Have you talked to Jacob since that day?" I inhale, trying not to get instantly sad about the situation. I shake my head and pop a fry into my mouth. "What an asshole." She mumbles, moving lettuce around with her fork.

"Yeah..." I murmur back.

"Can I ask you something if you promise not to get offended?" I shoot her a strange look before hesitantly nodding. "Do you want to keep it?"

I want to answer immediately, but no words come to mind. I look down, thinking about it for a moment. I haven't considered an abortion and I'm not hardcore against it, but nor am I all for the idea. I know I can't raise a baby on my own, but would I really be on my own? I haven't heard from Jacob and I'm not sure how my parents will take the news, sp how much support do I truly have? Just Natalie?

"I don't know." I state simply.

"That's one-hundred-percent your decision, but just know that life is a beautiful thing. And you may not believe it, but this is a good thing. If Jacob doesn't want to come back and be a man, then that's on him, but that child will be loved whether it's by me or by your parents or by you. It's going to be hard, I'm not going to lie to you. I've watched my mom struggle with us for a long time, but she always says she wouldn't trade it for anything. That little life inside of you was put there for a reason and it's completely up to you on what you want to do during this time."

I switch my lips from one side of my face to the other, then back again. I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones or if that struck a cord, but I feel my throat locking up and tears welting up in my eyes. I clench my teeth hard and look down, nodding to myself. I don't want to make a scene, but I feel a wave of emotions coming over me.

"Okay." I state, almost choking on my words. She leans forward, burying her eyebrows in her face and waiting for me to continue. I look up at her, struggling with my words. As if she read my mind, she smiles and nods.

"Okay."

After we eat, we go back to her house and watch movies. She gets up to make a bag of popcorn and I scroll through things on my phone for a bit. Her alarm system sounds, letting us know the back door has been open. I shoot her a strange look, but she seems unphased. A guy comes through the door and walks into the kitchen, nudging her as he walks past. She laughs and tries to hit him back, but he slips away.

"I thought you weren't coming home until tomorrow." She says to him.

He dips into the fridge and pulls out something to drink. "I wanted to surprise my baby sister of course." I furrow my eyebrows, unaware she had an older brother (a slightly, very attractive older brother).

He walks into the living and sees me, stopping in his tracks.

"Who's this?" His deep voice rings.

"Oh," Natalie chirps. "Aria, this is my older brother Casey, Casey this is my friend Aria."

Casey smiles at me before saying, "Hey."

"Hi." I smile back. He examines me for a bit longer before Natalie nudges him out of the way with her popcorn.

"Take a picture, it'll last so much longer." She mocks. He smirks before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away with his jaw locked. Once he leaves the room, I give Natalie a look. She raises an eyebrow to me.

"What?" She questions.

"You didn't tell me you had a cute older brother, that's all." I shrug and look back at the TV. We laugh to each other before watching a movie.

After a couple more films, she drops me off at my house. I wiggle the keys into my door before opening it. I walk to the couch before plopping down on it. Instantly, there's three knocks on my door. I roll my eyes and bounce back up, checking to see if Natalie accidentally left anything even though she didn't step foot in my house.

"Did you forget--" I pause for a moment and almost lose the breath in my lungs. My soul crawls into the light and shivers from an inexplicably horrible feeling. My gut knots up and strangled in itself, suffocating slowly until there's nothing left.

"Hey." Jacob says, standing in my doorway.