Pleasure

Chapter Forty-Nine

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while guys! I swear I'm trying really hard to balance all that's going on. I hope everyone has a lovely New Years and I'm wishing everyone good vibes and happy energy <3 here's chapter 49
_____________

"Wait you're really-"

"Can you please lower your voice?" I bark lowly, covering Natalie's mouth. Her eyes widen as she looks around. She takes me by the arm and drags me into a girls bathroom. She frantically checks all the stalls before going back to the door and locking it.

She swiftly turns to me and says, "You're really pregnant?" The mere word makes me cringe and makes my stomach churn. I wince as the letters are laid out sloppily in my mind. I nod, still in disbelief.

"You guys didn't use protection?"

"I'm on the pill, so I don't know how it happened." I explain, letting my voice crack for a split moment. I clear my throat, hoping she didn't notice.

Natalie makes a face then bites her nails. I can tell she's thinking, but I'm unsure of what. I wait for a moment, letting suspense build up. I can practically hear my own heart beating.

"What did Jacob say." I let guilt conquer my face. "You did tell Jacob didn't you?" She questions, already knowing the answer. I shake my head, staring down at the floor. "Why not?"

"Just not yet. I'm not ready."

"He needs to know, Aria." Natalie pushes.

"I know, I know. I'm just scared, I don't know how he's going to react." I admit with my head low.

"Aria, you still have to tell him." I bite my lip in resistance. "He's in love with you, you know. You're, like, the only one who's made him open up. I see the way he looks at you. You shouldn't be afraid of him resenting you."

As much as I want to deny it, Natalie is right. Jacob needs to know. The only problem is how I should tell him. I can just imagine his face. His jaw drops as he gets that slight twinkle in his eye. I can imagine his heart dropping to his feet and his tongue choking on his words. I wonder if his world will feel like it's tipping and crashing the way mine did. He still has a right to know. And I need to tell him soon before this constant weight on my chest suffocates me. This secret is eating me alive and no one knows it. The most important person in my life doesn't know the biggest secret and I'm carrying this baggage around, his baggage.

I get home and stare out of my patio window. Jacob's number sits on my screen as my thumb jitters nervously over the dial button. I feel like I've chewed a whole into the side of my mouth but that's the only thing stopping me from throwing up. Every bone in my body is shaking and I can't control it. There's a part of me that's conflicted, and another part of me that knows I'm doing the right thing. When I dial his number, it doesn't take him long to answer.

"Hey you." His groggy voice rings on the other end.

"Hey," my voice cracks but I clear my throat quickly. "Can you come over?"

There's a pause as the line quietly crackles, then he says, "Sure, is everything okay?"

No. "Yes." Once again, there's a pause. I'm almost sure he knows I'm lying, but I don't break.

"Okay, I'll be there in thirty minutes." I hang up the phone and release built up air from my lungs. I go to my couch and pull my knees to my chest. I begin to feel a type of nervous feeling I've never felt before. My mind ventures to possible reactions he could have. I feel like breaking down, but every time I go to cry, it just gets stuck in my throat and I choke on it. The smallest noises in the hallway make my heart leap out of chest and strangle itself on the ground in fear of Jacob.

There's finally a knock on my door. I slightly jump before my eyes slowly trail over to the entrance, staring in fear of what's on the other side. I push myself up from the couch and walk over to the door. My hand slips around the neck of the cold knob and I take a deep breath in. I plaster a smile on my face and open the door. I stare dead into those green, hypnotizing eyes. His smile immediately widens when he looks down at me.

"Sorry, I took so long," He apologizes. "It was hard to leave my comfortable bed." He smiles before leaning down and planting a soft kiss on my forehead. He walks in and I close the door behind him.

"Were you just lonely or what?" He asks while taking off his jacket and setting on the back of one of my high chairs. I pause for a moment, trying extremely hard to keep my mind from wandering.

I shrug and answer, "No, I wanted to talk to you." I make my way to the couch before sitting down and looking up at him. He buries his eyebrows into his eyelids and looks down at me.

"About?"

I bite my lip. "Sit with me," I plead softly. He walks over to me and plops down on the couch next to me. Without saying a word, he extends his arms and pulls me into his chest. The thick smell of his cologne suffocates my nose and I hold onto this moment, because I know it's about to slip away from me.

"Are you still worried about colleges, Aria?" His soft voices aks while lightly stroking my shoulder with one finger. A single tear escapes my eye and rolls down my cheek until it reaches the entrance of my mouth. I lick my bottom lip and pull it into my mouth, tasting a bit of the salty liquid.

"Jacob..." My voice trails off, unable to finish. He pushes himself into the couch a little more before looking down at me with a questioning expression. I shake my head, wanting to erase this moment. "I'm pregnant."

He laughs for a moment, but my face remains the same. He shakes his head for a moment, but his smile doesn't disappear.

"That's funny," He comments. I don't change my expression, leaving him conflicted. His eyes flicker as he looks at me. It starts to register in his mind that I'm not joking and the more it does, the harder his face gets. He slowly pulls away from me and looks at me as if I said something disrespectful. "What?"

"I'm pregnant." The words silently choke out of my throat. He shakes his head and stares down at the floor. He looks almost like he's going to throw up, but nothing comes. He clenches his jaw a couple times before looking back at me.

"I have to go." The words sound jumbled when they hit my brain. I throw out a confusing look, now hoping he's the one joking.

"What?"

"I ... I have to go. I can't - I have to go." He stumbles up from the couch, almost losing his balance. I want this to be a dream so badly, but I know it's not. He grabs his jacket and walks out the door, never daring to look back.