Stardust (Complete)

Background

We'd gathered enough from the garden to feed an army.  I had my arms full, and she'd filled her shirt with the different veggies we'd picked.  I bit back a smile as she unsuccessfully tried to pull her shirt down over her stomach without dropping what she was carrying, but eventually, she just gave up altogether.

"I'm sure this is a good look," she giggled as we walked together back to the house, trying to cover up her insecurity.  

"Showing off your belly to the world?" I teased, and she nodded, blushing slightly. 

"Yeah..."

"Hey, I'm not gonna complain," I assured her.  "I think you look alright."

She laughed, unconvincingly, and I hoped I didn't come across as being a creep.  When it was warm, all the girls around here got around with their bellies exposed.  It wasn't anything unusual, but Ash clearly had some unjustified insecurities.  At least, I thought that they were unjustified.

"I've been wondering," I started, changing the subject as I held the door for her, "what made you decide to do a road trip all on your own?"

"I don't know," she answered, following me to the kitchen.

"You just woke up one morning and thought 'yep, let's do it'?"

"Pretty much," she nodded as I dumped my arm load and helped her to unload her veggies onto the kitchen bench.  "It might have been fun with friends, but I don't mind."

"Easier to organise just yourself," I offered, and she shrugged.

"I don't have many friends," she admitted.  "I don't really get close to people, just because..."

"Because?"

"I don't know," she shrugged again, laughing quietly, "everyone has to do their own thing.  People don't really stick around, you know?  It's easier, just to do these things alone."

"You weren't worried?"

"Worried about what?"

"It's pretty dangerous," I reminded her.  "It's a cool idea, but, in reality, there's a lot of sickos around, especially because you're a woman.  I hope that doesn't make me sound sexist."

"No, you're right," she admitted.  "I guess I was a little worried, but I just had to do it.  For myself, you know?"

I nodded, hoping she might elaborate, to let me have a glimpse into her mind.  I had to admit, the girl had me intrigued.  What had drawn her out this way?  Was it the same power that had gotten me out of bed that early morning so that I would drive along the top of the cliff and chance upon her?

She was a shy person, I could tell that much, though, I could also tell that there was a part of her that was only just beginning to grow, to exist.  She didn't want to be shy anymore.  She wanted to see, and be seen.

"I haven't seen enough of this country, let alone the world I live in," she explained, staring at the bench top, frowning as though she was still trying to work it out herself.  "I think that we don't really know who we are until we have to do something that scares us.  I guess I'm still trying to figure myself out, and this was the best I could come up with."

I smiled at her, liking her explanation.

"Do you think you'll like the person you could be?"

"I don't know," she shrugged.  "I'm still trying to break old habits."

"Like what?"

"Like fading into the back ground."  She winced.  "And I'm really bad at holding conversations..."

"You're doing fine," I laughed, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.  "I reckon you'll like the person you have inside you.  She seems like a pretty cool chick."

She smiled shyly and shrugged.

"As long as I remember to let her out, sometime."