I didnt want it, though. The people who had gotten it out thought they had done me a favor. They did the exact opposite. They added to my living hell. "Thanks, but I dont really want it." I say trying to shove it off and give it to someone else, but nobody would accept it.
"Hey, Alice, I know why you dont want it and if you want, I'll burn it." James says from behind me.
"Yes." I say in reply. I shove it into his hands, "Please burn it or whatever you can do, but please just get it out of my sight and destroy it."
"OK. And, Im sorry for not being there. I was talking to Beth and you know, she's my girlfriend, so I really couldnt leave her or Id look like a douchebag." He says in defense.
"Yea, I know." I know that youd rather choose a girlfriend over one of your best friends. Or at least I thought I was one of your best friends and now Im starting to question it.
The teacher in charge blows the whistle and that signals that its time to go back to the middle school building. I walk across alone, near Jessica and Anna. Overlistening to their conversation on some guy that's name rings a bell, but Im not completely sure who it is.
When we get in front of the middle school, the three grades line up. On the very right is my grade, sixth. In the middle, is seventh and on the left are the eighth graders. As we wait for the teachers to open the doors, I start to think about my life before Anna arrived at St. Joe's. It was the closest to perfect that I could get. Then she came along and caused Lilly to get jealous and suddenly decide that I didnt matterf and that she could walk all over me. It hurt.
"Hey, Alice. Whats wrong? Did Lilly mess with you again?" Nope, it was your fault that she picked on me. Yes, I blamed who was supposed to be one of my best friends.
"You know what?!" I rush out to Anna. "It's your fault. Its your fault that Lilly treats me this way. It's your fault our class started to hate me, too. It's your fault that school is a living hell for me." I shed a tear. Thats all. I let one tear fall and thats all. I was not going to break. I was not going to allow myself to break. Especially, not at school.
"Wow, that was really rude! I know I can be mean, but saying something like that just makes you a bitch." Jessica adds, and she's right. All I do is cause other people pain. Im worthless. Im a bully.
Its true when people say that being bullied causes you to be the bully. It has a negative effect on you, being bullied does. It makes you not want to open up to others ever again, it makes you want to either block everyone out or hurt others to make them feel your pain. And thats what I did. I hurt others to make them feel how I felt.
I wasnt somebody who, when they bullied others they felt better. No, this made me feel worse. Im rude, a bitch, and worthless. Middle school has turned me into the person I didnt want to be. It horrified me that Id say something like that to someone. Even to someone that I loved as one of my best friend.
(A/N:
Im sorry for the really late update, if you like this. If you dont, may I ask why youre here?
I hope you liked this chapter! I might stop doing A/N except for every three chapters, idk. Depends. Every two chapters? Im not sure. In most of them, I just ask you to vote for it if you liked it or saying that I hope you liked it. Im sorry if that annoys you :/
I love you guys! Byee! ~Tara)
