We treated each other horribly and it made me feel horrible. I didnt like being rude or mean, it was just apart of me. Being rude was a characteristic that everyone had, some people could hide it better than others. I was someone that hid it decently, and by decently, I mean I backed away from the people I was rude to and that was what I was doing to Anna. So many people realized we had a pretty shitty friendship, except for her.
In January, there was a 'lock in' that both Anna and I went to. I had gone last year and I cant remember her going. We had decided on just staying together because we were "socially awkward" and didnt like to socialize with people we didnt know. I planned on sticking to that idea, I truly dont like talking to people I done know, nor do I like to socialize with people I barely know. Now, I really want to come out of my shell, but in January, I thought that idea was pure hell.
I stuck to Anna and my plan of staying to ourselves, while only about an hour in did Anna find two people from some other Catholic school. Not that I had a problem of her making friends, she just left me alone and that sucked ass... Lets admit it, I was in denial and still am, I didnt want her to make friends. Yeah, we had our ups and downs, but we promised each other that tonight we'd stick together and wouldnt hang out with anybody else.
Anna hung out with other people, so I did as well. She hung out with new friends as I hung out with old. Having no one to talk to, led me to old friends, one of which being Lilly. I hated myself for it, but she was only one of about six or seven that was in the group that I found decent and that might accept me.
As I walked around without anybody to talk to, I walked to the lobby of the gym and I see this big group of people playing a game. The game happened to be Apples to Apples. I looked at the group James, Alicia, Tina, Hannah, a guy that I recognized from the school that is kind of like our school's "best friend", aaaaannnnddd Lilly. I mentally checked through the people thinking if the mental pain was worth sitting through. James, a guy that I dont want to like but I do, cool, can be rude at times, and really doesnt talk to me besides on kik... Alicia, an eighth grader that I have become a friend of since the beginning of the year, friend of Lydia, an ok person, pain wouldnt be too much. Tina, a ninth grader that gets annoyed at me easily, cool person, mental pain would be decent. Hannah, another ninth grader, flirtatious with a ninth grader that I kind of like, Ive seen her as a threat for the past two years, and mental pain would be high. A guy that I later learned his name was John, seemed cool, didnt seem to get annoyed easily, appeared to be funny, mental pain would be zero. And Lilly. The fact that Ive spent the past ten months avoiding her didnt help much.
I decided that even though this could be a complete disaster for me, I didnt care. I wanted to get Anna off of my mind and I wanted to have fun and it looked like I could do both of these things with this group's help.
(A/N
hey guys! Sorry it has been over a week since Ive updated, but Ive been sick for the past two-three weeks, I cant remember if I mentioned it in the last chapter.
But yea, I havent been feeling well and Im just now "getting better". Turns out it was just a stomach virus (as usual)
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I love you guys! BAi! Xx. ~Tara)
