Whatever I Am, I'm Yours.

chapter eighteen

Lauren

Never would I have thought I could sing my songs to most of my school at some raging party. Being up on the stage and showing them the songs I spent sleepless night on perfecting made my heart feel like it was going to burst. I'd never been so scared. This was a part of me they've never seen before. More than just the nerdy jock everyone knows me for, but the artist that's been growing inside of me.

God knows my journal's been over flowing with lyrics, it's hard to believe I've gotten to express them out to the public.

I shrugged it off while I remember these were just more of the typical songs I could come up with, there was no way I could share my more personal ones. I don't even think I could ever want to channel those emotions on stage. I would be exposing my most inner thoughts to everyone and letting them see me raw.

I shuddered at the thought while I leaned against the counter of the island in the kitchen of the Grande mansion. And yes, I say mansion because this is literally something straight out of MTV cribs. Starting from the luscious looking furniture down to the portraits of her dogs. Which she had a litter of. It's like the Brady Bunch, but if they were all dogs.

Good thing Ariana locked them away in her room, I don't think the party goers would have any mercy on them. Then again they're Grande dogs...they might not have mercy on the people.

"Laur," I looked up only to be met with the warmest coffee brown eyes I've grown to miss each day. I couldn't help but feel a sheepish smile come on my face when I saw her quickly make her way to me in her wedges heels. The red lacy long sleeved crop top really did her wonders and showed off her flat tummy, along with the tight faded out powder blue skinny jeans that showed off those long legs. What I couldn't help but notice was her hair was pushed back down the middle was cascading down over her shoulder so flawlessly. "I knew you had moves, but I didn't see them get so good."

I felt my face flush while I scratched he back of my neck, "Aw, it's nothing. Honestly Normani and Dinah came up with it within twenty minutes before the party started."

"Of course," she chuckled lightly while walking over next to me, "Makes more sense now."

I laughed a bit while I pressed my hand to my chest to try and calm down my heartbeat, "You don't think I could come up with dance moves?"

Camila shook her head while reaching over the counter for the bucket filled with ice and water bottles, "No. I think you can honestly do anything, but I see more Normani and Dinah doing that grinding."

I nodded my head slowly while she took a slip from the chilled water bottle, "They do worship Beyoncé, so of course they know how to move like that." We both laughed while Camila kept her gaze down as her fingers messed with the cap of the bottle. "Something bothering you?" I asked since Camila has never avoided eye contact with me in any of the conversations we've had before. At least not in this way.

There wasn't a blush or a flustered look on her face, but it seemed like her thoughts were slowly overwhelming her to a point to where she could possibly forget where she is right now. Of course I know what her thinking face looks like, don't think that I'm some kind of creep who just stares at her and tries analyzing her expression because...okay maybe I do, but if you saw this girl with her tongue between her teeth and her eye brows furrowed, would you not think it's the most absolute cutest thing in the world? Along with how venerable she gets when she closes her eyes and gets lost on something. As if she's just let herself go to whatever she's listening to or thinking about, forgetting about reality.

Camila's eyes met mine briefly before shifting back down, "I-I-no. Just...thinking." She said while giving me a small reassuring smile, at least that's what she tried to do. It looked more sad than reassuring.