Whatever I Am, I'm Yours.

chapter fifty-one

September

Camila

This will definitely take some getting use to.

"Have you been to California?" Stassy asked me in complete awe as all of the freshman were gathered around Niki and I while the others stretched. Her hands were clasped in front of her mouth as she had it agape.

Kendall's little sister Kylie nodded her head while pointing towards me with her amazingly done manicured finger, "Didn't she fly you out to come to her Texas show? And you guys stayed downtown Austin in a swanky hotel?" She said with playfully cocked eyebrows.

I shook my head while I could see out of the corner of my eye my co-captain just smiling amusingly at my uncomfortableness, "Guys. This is time to practice, not to-"

"O-M-G! Wait did you go to the VMAs with her?!" Kelsey said while I realized all of them came to practice with full faces of makeup.

Kinda impressed how it hasn't come off after the changing and taking a lap, "I-No. Lauren went by herself-"

"Did you not want to go?" Kylie asked me while I felt my shoulders tensing and my breaths getting shorter.

"I-No-Some stuff came up." I waved them off while trying to get my head back into captain mode.

I didn't want to think about how her label and management convinced her that it was better she went alone. That it would only keep her distracted from doing interviews and take her shine away at the carpet. But having heard from Lucy, who overheard Lauren's publicist, that it was already bad Lauren was publicly known to be taken. So the more she's alone the more people won't make such a big deal about it and fans won't be swerved away from her.

Lucy tried to tell me that I shouldn't take it to heart, that that's just how the industry is. Stars are more desired when they're not dating since it gives the fans this magical what if feeling. Doesn't mean it didn't still hurt to think that just because if I went with Lauren, that she would be bashed.

That I would be bashed again.

I groaned while rubbing my temples as my mind swarmed with all the horrible tweets I saw online. There were pictures. Racial slurs. Body shaming comments.

I've deleted all social media at the end of summer after breaking down way too many times. Deciding that I wouldn't let them have that kind of power over me. Reminding myself that those people were complete strangers and knew nothing of me and my relationship.

"Practice," I practically snarled causing all the girls to step back and Niki to drop her grin, "Is to get shit done." Crossing my arms I looked over everyone in front of me as I felt my lungs were desperate for air, but like hell would I show them how close to an attack I was, "Niki and I are going to show you the proper stretching techniques. Partner up and pay attention!" My voice going louder and angrier by the end of it as they all scurried to quickly get together with someone.

Turning I saw Niki looking at me with concerned eyes as she placed a careful hand on my shoulder, "You okay there, Cabello?" She asked me while I contained myself.

I wouldn't do this right now.

Just push it back, Camila. Push it back and deal with it later.