Whatever I Am, I'm Yours.

chapter fifty-two

New Years Eve

Lauren

"Mija," my father called for me as he knocked on my door with the softest touch, "Your mother and I are going to pick up your abuelo and some groceries for tonight...is there anything you need?"

Opening my mouth I felt my throat sting as I winced from it. Placing my hand over my throat I cleared it and tried to speak up as best as I could, "I'm okay." My voice cracking all over the place from just two words.

I should go down and get some water. My throat is so dry. It wouldn't be surprising that I'm dehydrated since all I've done is stay in bed to not let anyone see me this way.

Especially after breaking down the way I did at Christmas.

None of the girls left, well except for Dinah who claimed she wanted answers. Apparently I wasn't the only one that had been shut out by Camila. It seems she hadn't been telling any of our other friends about anything. Dinah did express to me that she had experienced some bullying, but that Shawn and her were always there to make sure it'd be shut down immediately.

Of course it would be. I'd probably shit myself if those two stood over me with anger in their eyes.

To say I was angry myself was an understatement. A little bit of self hatred flowed through me for not being there to stop it myself, but Normani must've noticed how I was feeling because she told me I didn't have any control over it. That it wasn't my fault that I wasn't there.

What I hated most was that I didn't know.

"We'll be back." My father said against the door as I could hear him walking away.

I turned over on my back on the bed as I stared up at the ceiling.

My parents didn't know how to comfort me. My mother saw the girls drag me up to my room as I cried and wanted nothing but to hold me as I cried, but Normani and Ariana said they could handle me for the rest of the night. That she should handle the guests. She didn't protest, but did say that she'll come check up on me during the night. Once everyone left and Ariana went to the guest room, she did come in.

She held me until I fell asleep. That was probably the first time I'd done that since I was a kid.

"Lauren," the door creaked open and I turned to see Ariana peeking through the crack, "Can I come in?"

How unlike of her to ask, last I remember Camila saying how she'd just barge into her room.

Camila.

Slowly I looked back up to the ceiling, not bothering to answer because technically she was already in. So she'd walk in anyway.

Ariana slowly came in and looked down at me from the side of the bed, "I never thought I'd see you like this." She said to me as I just kept my gaze at the ceiling, "I didn't take you as giving up and sulking about it type." Ariana finished as she sat down next to me and I looked over to see her looking at me with furrowed brows. "Aren't you mad?"

"Not at her." I whispered as I closed my eyes and lied my head back, "Just at myself."

"But you didn't do anything wrong," she said to me and I opened my eyes to see her looking frustratedly at my sheets, "Don't you want to know why?"