Whatever I Am, I'm Yours.

chapter thirty-eight

(DISCLAIMER: NOT PROOF READ)

Camila

I didn't know what to feel.

I smiled as I watched Lauren help Sofi put the lights around our Christmas tree, I couldn't be more thankful for my girlfriend who got the huge thing delivered to our house. I almost sent the delivery guy away because I honestly thought he got the wrong house. Papi came running down the stairs far too quickly to see what happened, but Lauren popped up behind the truck with the tree strapped to it and explained how she remember how I told her we stopped getting a tree a long time ago.

Of course I just attacked her with kisses for being so thoughtful while my father helped the delivery guy put the tree inside. Sofi came running down the stairs completely ecstatic about the tree. She also attacked Lauren with hugs and repeated thank yous. As for Mami, I didn't know where she went until Lauren told me that Mami and her own mother went out on a girls day. We both laughed at how well they were getting along, I mean we never expected them to get so close.

Then again I never expected for Mami to be working for Clara.

Watching Lauren giggle with my little sister made me think of the conversation we had in the morning after the whole driving incident happened. The girls were all down stairs while Lauren and I decided to just lie in bed for a bit longer to catch up. To really let the whole girlfriend title settle in. We were just cuddled up in this comfortable silence until she brought up why she got so angry and protective when she heard I was pregnant.

"I was told I'd never have kids, Camz." She smiled sadly while taking my hand that rested over her stomach to bring it up to kiss my palm, "I had it in my head that I would never have children. I'd never be able to give that to someone." She turned to look at me and her eyes glowed with so much love that I couldn't help but sigh from the feeling, "So when I found out you were pregnant I...I don't know-I got so happy." She smiled and I could see her lip quiver while her eyes started to gleam over, "I-I mean yes we're definitely too young, but at that moment that didn't matter to me. What mattered was that the girl I loved was carrying our child and I...I couldn't believe it. I got so angry at the thought of them treating you so badly because I couldn't stand the thought of losing what I never thought I could have."

Of course that made my heart swoon and almost attack the Cuban in my enamored state, but before I could even get her shorts off Dinah came bursting in saying something about making banana pancakes.

And well...you know me. My stomach just gave away how hungry I was and Lauren insisted we go eat.

We haven't slept together since I'd gone to California to explain why I couldn't travel. Maybe I was just being insane, but I was having withdrawals. Then when we hadn't been talking I didn't know how to feel, but my body had it's needs. Which lead to me having to take care of myself some nights.

It wasn't something I've ever done before. I didn't know what I was doing and the first day it was just about me trying to see what I liked and what I didn't like. Self discovering, if I had to put it someway it'd be like that. It was definitely different from the times when Lauren's touched me and it felt awkward, but eventually I got the hang of it and before I knew it I knew my way around myself.

They weren't as good as the orgasms I've gotten from the times with Lauren though...

"Kaki," I looked up to see Sofi on top of Lauren's shoulders as she placed the star at the top of the tree. I smiled as the little girl happily placed it on the tip and Lauren held on to her legs to make sure she was secured. Sofi clapped in excitement when she got it up there perfectly and Lauren told her what a great job they did. I had to admit the tree looked very beautiful.