Whatever I Am, I'm Yours.

chapter nineteen

FIVE DAYS LATER

Camila
How could things have gone so wrong so quickly?

"Mila," I looked up to see Ariana looking at me questioningly as we were lined up on the sidelines. Well I was still in my spot from cheering on the girls' lacrosse game, it had ended and now everyone was huddle up in small groups talking and making plans to celebrate yet another win. I looked over to my friend to see her looking a bit concerned for myself, "You've been out of it all day. Hell, you almost broke your neck doing a cartwheel earlier."

I shook my head while looking over to the field only to have my gaze caught by the beauty I haven't been able to admire for days now. The girl I haven't touched since Ariana's party. The one who walked away when I agreed to go out with Shawn.

Thinking about how I agreed to go out with Shawn and not even consider not only my own feelings, but Lauren's made me step up and speak on them. I told Shawn on Monday the truth.

The truth about myself and how I'm not interested in any guys. Surprisingly he took it well and even got a little excited about it, saying things like, "This is awesome! Now I have a best bud I can check out hot girls with."

I'll admit I both cringed and laughed at his contentment with me being interested in the same sex, apparently it was awesome. I rolled my eyes remembering back to that, until I felt guilt swoop over me.

That day at the party when Shawn walked in, I knew I shouldn't have felt the way I did, but I got a bit scared. Not that I would think Shawn would've judged me and torn me down for being gay, but scared of what Lauren would want me to say. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I didn't want to say anything could've maybe pushed her away or made her think I thought something different of her. Especially since I knew no one knew of her extra appendage, what if I were to say something that would make her think I was implying something wrong about her?

Even still, I'd pushed her away without knowing about what exactly I'd done to make things this way.

"I ain't worried about nothin'
I ain't wearin' na-nada
I'm sitin' pretty and impatient, but I know you gotta
Puttin' in them hours
Imma make it harder
Sendin' pic after picture, Imma get you fired,"

Everyone who was standing around the field started hollering and cheering as I looked up to see Normani and Cara picking up Lauren just a bit. I could see Dinah starting to dance while yelling out at the green eyed beauty, "Girl! I fucking love this song!"

She wasn't the only one. Almost everyone else started saying the same things and only gave Lauren positive comments about the song she'd released via SoundCloud as her first original track. It had been a two days after the party when Dinah and Ariana showed up at my house, both gasping and waving their phones around like manics about how Lauren and a rapper made a song together.

"You don't gotta go to work-work-work-work-work-work-work
But you gotta put it work-work-work-work-work-work-work
You don't gotta do the work-work-work-work-work-work-work
Let my body do the work-work-work-work-work-work-work
We can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh
We can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh,"

"I have to admit," I turned to see Ariana smirking while nodding her head to the beat, "It's a catchy fucking song."

"Yeah," I agreed in a sigh while I turned back to see Lauren being talked to by Coach Lovato who seemed more than proud of her MVP.

"Lauren," I heard her say while I saw these two guys standing behind her. I furrowed my brow trying to think of who they hell they could be.