DAYS OF SUMMER ( Either Moving On Or Giving Up )

Twenty Four

“Let’s be real,
I love you.”
-Thomas in The Chorus page 12

It’s just like a usual day for me taking a picture of Jake when Jeannine, Ryan’s photographer sits beside me. “That’s cool when you manhandled Ryan Carson,” she says.
What the freaking? “What do you mean?”
“In the party,” she says. “You just grabbed his arm.”
I blink. I’m that aggressive? I never think about that. I don’t even remember how I grabbed him. I just remember that I asked him about sunflower.
I can hardly concentrate when I realize a lot of photos are blur. Now I feel so bad. Neither Carl nor Joan is checking our photos. But if they check it today, they’ll be disappointed at me.
“Don’t worry,” Jeannine says. “I only take 5 good pictures. I think you got plenty and more. Don’t worry about the blur ones.”
I sigh. I seriously have to think clearly about my job. Don’t lose focus.
My favourite shot for today is when Jake played the piano. I don’t know that he’s talent in music.
When the shoot is done, I clearly regret my decision. Last night, Ryan texted me that we should go exploring again today. And I just said yes. It’s not that I like him. It’s just. Still..
“Yuka!” It’s Dean. She hugs me again. “You’ll go with us today, right?”
“Yeah,” I reply.
Yes, Dean will also come. It’s good, honestly. I think she also deserves to have a rest from everything. She has so many dramas, even more than me.
And Jake's right. She’s actually nice. It’s just her way to show it is weird.
I go to my room to take a bath and get changed. I decide to wear my white long sleeves top and white long fitted skirt. I also wear my blue sneakers.
Ryan told me to wait in the parking lot. There’s Dean. But she looks super pissed. Katherine is also there, but with Ren. There’s no sign of Jake, but he’ll show up later.
Ren smiles weakly at me and I just smile, but it’s a weak smile. I do miss him so much, but it’s like my heart still hasn’t forgiven him.
They both go and I watch them from afar. Dean humps in. She even pushes me lightly. “That’s your brother and you just exchanged smile with each other?” she asks.
I shrug. “That’s for the best,” I say.
“I always know you’re weird, but isn’t that so weird?”
I shrug. Ryan comes next. He’s driving a red shiny car with no roof. I cringe. “What if it’s raining?” I ask.
“Live freely, Yuka,” Dean replies shortly.
“Don’t you hate if your hair get wet?” I ask her.
Dean shrugs. “My hair will still look flawless.”
Both me and Ryan don’t have a comeback for that. Anyway, we finally hit the road. Dean sits beside Ryan, while I’m making space for me to sit in the back. The car totally doesn’t have back seats.
But the view is worth it. I don’t mind if I have to sit in the no space just to see the view. Ryan smiles from the mirror, apparently to me. I smile back. A crazy ideas come in my mind and I’m so happy. I still have it. I still have my music.
We stop at the beach that everyone told Ryan. The weather is a bit windy and cold, but the beach still looks stunning. We pass a jeep and Dean squeals.
She quickly runs to the beach. When I see Jake sitting on the sand, I finally realize why she’s so happy.
“Jakey!” Dean immediately hugs him. “Are you alone?”
Jake swats her away. “Carson. Dean. Summer,” he greets us.
“Adams,” Ryan says, looking so tensed.
“I want to play around, come on, Jakey,” Dean says.
“I don’t want. I just want to sit around,” Jake replies shortly. It seems like he still hasn’t forgiven her either about Katherine’s incident.
“You’re not fun at all. Come on, Ryan. You said you want to play with the sea. Are you coming, Yuka?”
“No, Summer is not coming. She stays here,” Ryan says. “She can’t swim.”
“What a bummer,” Dean says. “Whatever. Let’s go, Ryan.”
Ryan casts a glance at me and leaves with Dean. Both Jake and me, actually just me watch them from here. Jake stands up a bit and takes off his jacket. He puts the jacket on the sand and tells me to sit there.
I smile. It’s really a good consideration since I wear white skirt. We’re quiet a bit until Jake says, “I don’t know that you’re quiet close with Carson.”
“He’s unusual. But he’s a good person,” I say.
“Fair enough,” he says.
Dean comes back a minute later and says that she wants to see the sauna. Jake gives her a look, but he doesn’t say anything. Ryan’s also back. The four of us walk to the car.
“I don’t think Summer should get in your car, Carson. She barely has a space,” Jake tells him.
“So what’s your suggestion?” Ryan asks him.
“Let me drive Summer,” Jake says.
Dean looks surprised, but she knows Jake is still a bit angry with her, so she doesn’t offer to be in his car. I stare at Jake in disbelief. Sometimes he really has a weird personality.
“Fine,” Ryan says. “After all she’s your photographer. So she should come with you.” But he technically doesn’t seem to like the idea at all.
I get into Jake’s car. He smiles a bit. “I saw a shop with teddy bears. Want one of it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I promise I’ll make it up to you, right?”
“Yeah,”  I say. “You promised that.”
Jake drives me to the shop and even buys me one teddy bear. We can’t really go to anywhere again because Jake have a second round shooting.
Back to my job routine again with me taking more pictures of Jake.
As usual, Dean gets angry with Katherine with no reason. She looks super pissed, but no one actually can complain since she’s a talented actress and every movies with her always gets big.
But I guess today, she gets worst.
“Why are you here, Katy?” she asks Katherine. “You always ruin everything.”
Katherine is a sweet girl, so she doesn’t have any comebacks. She just only smiles at every words Dean throws.
It’s not that I care about their quarrel, but it’s getting me headache this time because they are right beside me. Since everyone is so focused at the shoot, they totally forget about Dean and Katherine.
“Do you see that girl, Yuka? Because of you, she doesn’t talk with her brother!”
“Why are you always like that with me, Dean? Can we just be friends?”
“I don’t want a friend like you,” Dean says coldly and pushes Katherine. But this time, she just pushes too hard until Katherine bumps into me as well as the lightning thing back up.
“Ouch!” Katherine shouts and I shriek, trying to let go of the thing from my hand. It’s hurting, and since I have my fingers history, it’s getting more hurt.
Dean is shocked and she doesn’t have words. Every staffs begins to see the incident and I can see Ren's and Sail's faces pale out. But I don’t think it’s for me.
This time, Jake is angry. He has enough for this. He quickly lifts the thing around , so I can move away. He glares at Dean. “Are you crazy, Dean?” he asks. “What the hell were you thinking just now?”
“I didn’t know, I’m sorry.”
Jake scoffs. “You didn’t know, my ass. This is getting me frustrated every time. Can you just calm down and stop with what you’re doing? If you’re like this every time, a lot of crews will get hurt by you.”
“It’s okay,” I say. “I’m fine. I mean, we’re fine, right?” I look at Katherine, but she looks away. She’s totally not fine.
“Let’s end this for today,” the AD says. “We need to take care of Katherine and this staff, what’s your name?”
“Summer,” Jake answers for me.
The AD dismisses everyone and Jake grabs my arm softly. He tells me that I should treat my wounds. As if I have one.
“Summer!” Ren calls my name.
“Don’t worry,” Jake assures him. “Just treat Katy.”
Ren stops Jake and looks at him coldly. “She’s my sister. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
“I’ll be fine, Ren,” I say.
“Summer,” he says. “Please don’t shut me in. I..”
“I'm sorry, Ren,” I say with a smile. “I’ll be fine. I’m okay.”
“I’ll see you later,” he says.
Jake takes me to his suite while he’s trying to find a band aid. “You bring band aids?” I ask him.
“I do,” he replies. “Here.”
I smile when he puts the band aid. Just that moment, I get an idea from Jake. “Jake, wait,” I say as I straighten him. “Do you like sunflower?”
“What?” he asks.
“Gosh! You just give me some ideas! Let’s grab my violin.” I quickly stand up and leads Jake out from the room.
“Violin?” he asks.
“Yeah, Ryan just bought it for me.”
“Wait, Carson?” he asks in disbelief. “Don’t get to comfortable with him.”
“I’m not teaming anyone,” I say. “I’m not team Jake or team Ryan!”
Jake laughs at that. “You’re mostly team Jake since you stay at my house.”
“Whatever. I’m not team anybody. And I just find out! You two are my music ideas.”
When we get into the room, I quickly play the violin and my journal and Jake tells me to go to his suite. Jake also tells Ren that we’re in his suite. I play the violin once we’re in his suite and write the notes down. The music is more cheerful now, about a girl who just finds something special and beautiful, love from everyone who truly loves her.
Jake smiles at me. I smile at him. I grab Oliver’s journal and show it to him. “Oliver was my muse back then and I was his. He died at the car accident last year when he drove me to my audition. I got a yes, but I couldn’t get in.” I stare at the my music piece , for Hara, which I always bring to anywhere. “I can’t finish it. But when I had Oliver that time, I almost finished it.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. Do you know why I regret everything? I didn’t have any experience with Oliver. I never got a chance to kiss him. It’s so unreal. When he died, I regret everything I throw away.”
Jake sighs. “I always like Katy. It used to be love. But when she just left me, it doesn’t feel love again. She may be back, but it’s not always like that. I guess, I still love her. But no one know.”
I look at Jake. Then the bell rings. “It must be Ren!” I exclaim. Jake stands up and opens the door.
Ren is outside with a cake I think he bought from the restaurant. “Ren!” I exclaim. Then I see Katherine and I just want to disappear because there’s Sail.
“He wants to apologize,” Ren tells me.
“Are you okay with that?” Jake asks me. I nod. “Alright, come in,” Jake says.
“That’s convenient to stay at boy's room,” Sail scoffs. Ren glares at him. “That’s not your business,” Jake replies him.
“I want to apologize with my daughter. Can you all go outside?”
I want to explode. This is Jake's room. Can he just be polite since it’s not his room? “I’ll wait at the balcony,” Jake says. Ren also follows him, along with Katherine.
“What is it, d-d-dad.. I mean Sail?”
“I want to thank you for what you did for Katy. She just recovered and I want her to be okay.”
I want to say I just recovered too, but I remain calm. “She bumped me, I didn’t save her or anything.”
Sail sighs. “I always know you’re just like Hara.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Hara acted like this before, only she acted badly with Katy's mom, Tamar.”
“Don’t you dare to bring my mom in this! She was gone! Can you just respect her?” I can’t even believe I defend Hara. It’s not like I don’t love her. I just choose not to care.
Sail stands up. “Enough with your mom being dead. She deserved it.”
I stand up. “No, no, no, you didn’t just mean that!” I grab a vas and almost lung for him before Jake grabs the vas away from my hands.
“Get out from my room,” he demands Sail. “Get your dad away from here,” Jake tells Katherine.
Ren grabs my hands. “Are you okay, Yuka?” he asks me.
I smile. “Never been better,” I say.
My dad is a jerk. I blame my mom for all of these. She killed herself because of guilt.
Jake escorts Ren out when I hear a soft bark. It’s Jud! I quickly call him. “Come on, come on, Jud!”
Jake and Ren seem to talk outside and I’m so curious. I want to know what are they talking about.
“Thanks for being so nice with Summer,” Ren says. “It’s kinda weird. You’re even nicer to her than to Katy. Do you.. have a chance.. I mean do you like my sister?”
What? I cover my face. I feel my cheeks redden. I don’t know what Jake does. Maybe he shrugs. But he just says, “I don’t know.”
“What confused me is you took her to your mom,” Ren says. “That’s not the thing you do.”
“I guess Summer’s just special,” Jake says and my blush deepens.
“Don’t play games with my sister, or I’ll swear. We’re through.”
I giggle a little at Ren's words. “Thanks for being beside my sister when I have to take care of Katy.”
“Don’t get to comfortable with Katy,” Jake tells him. “You still have to take care of your sister. She needs you more than Katy needs you.”
“I know,” Ren says.