DAYS OF SUMMER ( Either Moving On Or Giving Up )

Twenty Eight

"Let me be your wind

As you're my sunshine

You shine so bright

And I'm afraid the lights of your fade away

Since I can't shine as bright as you."

-Oliver Ron's music piece called Summer

I wake up feeling so bad. I miss Oliver. I miss nana, gramps, I miss talking with Ren. I miss Hara.

I take my phone to see all the call outs I made for Hara. The feeling of her is still here. I miss having mom. I want my mom is here.

"Mommy, I wish you were alive so we can talk. I want you to wash my hair. We will go shopping. And I will smile all day because you're beside me."

I miss the time when I don't have to see stars like Jake and his friends. All of them may not be so outgoing. They're stiff just like me, but everyone is sincere. We all have goals. And we don't have to pretend we like each other when we hate each other. I want to go back to music.

I look like a spoiled princess right now, but I need music. My music.

I hate this world. I don't want to be in this industry. Everyone could be very mean. And what I can't believe is I fall in love with Jake. He's a jerk the whole time.

There's no sweet and kind Jake.

There's no kind guy whom I think my muse like Ryan.

There's no friend like Dean.

And there's no dad like Sail.

I've been tricked the whole time and it's so sweet I can't barely realize it's actually bitter and salty. There's nothing sweet about this life. This whole time, this world is crushing me in.

I hate it ruined my summer.

No one, huh? Just like the old time, I've always been alone.

Oliver, I miss you. I want to go back time. I want you to be here with me. Can you? I miss you so much and I want to cry right now.

Hara, I love you. I'm sorry I never actually told you that I love you, but I do. I miss both of you.

Oliver, when can I meet you again? I'm not happy at all. I am alone. Ren is not here.

I guess I look so freaking messy now. I can't help to take my pills again.

The pills are shattering above Oliver's journal. I haven't touched it since then.

I take his journal and a piece of paper falls. It's still his handwriting. Oliver's!

But it's a bit messy, I'm sure he's writing it when he was in hospital, still remembered me.

I remember when he asked what's my name and that's when I kept thinking about suicide.

DEAR SUMMER,

Summer, this is the Oliver who's still him. I know my mind is not right now. I become mad and I like to hit and smash things around. And somehow, I remember I always smash your heart.

Summer, I miss seeing you laugh in my studio. You're already great, but you still learned from me. Who am I kidding? But I love your presence. You brought lights with you. You're so shining because when you smile, it lits up. At least, it lits me. So romantic, right?