When love is near

Chapter 21

(What's this? What is going on? Why am I here in this situation? Is this some kind of a bridge to get me to the ultimate purpose of this meeting?)

Eyes widened. Shakes her head out of confusion.

What? What did you say?

Addie, is not Adriane's son Jamie.

She leans her back on the chair.

(I'm not ready for this. Why does my heart crushing like this so much?)

What do you mean?

Anak namin siya ni Steve. When Adriane and I were still together, I fell in love with our friend Steve. And si Addie angbunga.

Confused.

I'm... I'm sorry I don't know what to say.

When Steve and I broke up to set things right because hey! I cheated on my boyfriend of almost ten years! Tinaggap ako ni Adriane, pero buntis na ako noon. Again, I failed him. Get back with Steve again, only to break up with him again. Ang gulo ko diba? Ang sama sama kong tao, inabuso ko si Adriane. Yung kabaitan niya and yung acceptance. lalo na dahil alam kong focus si Adriane sa goal niya. For him, no other option. We need to be one family. Ayaw niya akong mapahiya sa lahat, or si Addie. He'll do that kahit na siya mismo, hirap na hirap na.

But, Adriane knows it?

Yes. I'm sure hindiniya sinabi sayo. Knowing Adriane a gentleman as he is, he will never say a thing that could be against the people he cares about.

How did he...

I told him. He was devastated. Pero tinaggap niya parin kami ni Addie. Adriane is a man with a plan. He wanted things to be right in accordance with his own plans no matter what, even risking his own life and happiness. But, things will not always go our way right? No matter how hard we tried working our relationship out, hinditalaga eh. I always fail him. Hindi ko kayang abutin expectations niya sa akin. That's why I always go back to Steve.

Adriane love's you that much.

He loves Addie that much. Not me. For him, Addie is the only one that makes sense in his life. And sigurokaya I have this secret revenge against him. Ha Ha, sa ten years he treated me right Jamie, but not the kind of love that I need. He always aims high. Ha Ha  I look like a walking goal chart. Marrying me would be one of his accomplished tasks not a divine gift.

But I'm not mad at him though. Highschool palang kami I know Adriane can be so ambitious. Akolang tong nagpumilit to be in his life ayun, I end up being just a plan in his journal. The love he has for me was the kind of love that you plan to have. Calculated, formulated. 

Eyes flinch.

Addie, does he know?

Looked down.

Nope. Not yet. And I don't have the power and courage to tell him.

Breathe deeply.

Wena, why are you saying all these?

I may not be in the position Jamie but, I just wanted to clear my place. Para hindikana mag-alinlangan.

Alinlangan? Saan?

Jamie, I can see how you and Adriane connects without speaking a word to each other. And I'ts pretty obvious that even Addie can see? Kaya ganun nalang niyaayoipagdikit all the time.

Wait. Let me breathe. All these are so sudden.

Ha Ha. I know, It's crazy.

I still don't know why you are telling me these revelations. Ang bilis ng buhos, nakakalunod.

Adriane plans ahead. Pinipilit niya lahat ayusin kahit hindi na pwede. So this time, It would be a treat to see him crumble for the first time, if it means falling in love genuinely with you.

Okay, wait. I think this is going too far. Why do people suddenly push Adriane for me? Ni hindinganatinalam if that guy likes to be in a relationship with someone or not.

With someone? I highly doubt that. But with you, I can assure you that.

Sarcasm.

Sigh. Wena, I think wag nalang natin pangunahansi Adriane. Isa pa, I'm not ready to be in a relationship either.

Okay Jamie. I respect that. But, no matter what happens, I want you to know how grateful I am.

For? Saving Addie? That's totally fine Wena

Wena smiled at her gently

For Adriane's smile.

Walking slowly back to her room.

Leaned her head on the wall.

Revelations after revelations. Yung akala mo gagaaan lahat, may chance na, pero mas nagiging complicated pala habang tumatagal.

Closed her eyes.

(The love he had for me is calculated, formulated.)

Calculated, Formulated. Those words from Wena echoes my belief that no one can ever be prepared when it comes to love.

Breathes deeply.

Why, Lord?