Life Without You

Unsteady

Bellamy:

We all quickly loaded up the Rover with food and supplies we may need. Considering these new sky people were unpredictable our best chance at surviving was to keep everything we may need close. I closed the back door to the Rover as everyone got seated in the back. It was getting crammed in the back, but we made enough room for everyone to sit.

As I take a seat in the driver's seat I take one last look around to make sure the coast was clear. "Monty, Harper stand out the sunroof with your guns hot we don't want any issues." I turned to look at Clarke who had her eyes focused on me. Her face was soft as she gave me a nice smile. I pulled out slowly listening to Clarke as she gave me directions towards Polis.

As there was no sign of any people Monty and Harper joined the others in the back. Everyone was on their toes after what had happened back at the lab no one wanted to take any chances even if everything seemed fine.

I glanced over at Clarke who was staring out the window. The light was shining on her golden hair making her glow more than usual. The streaks of red only adding to her beauty. I quickly looked away as she began to turn her head, but she caught me. "Eyes on the road Bellamy." She grinned at me. It was a relief to see her smile, she looked breathtaking when she smiled.

I smirked back at her. "I've got my eyes on what matters." Her round cheeks began to turn pink as she blushed. She turned her face away so I couldn't see her, but I knew she was still blushing. "Is this brave princess blushing?" I mocked.

She turned back swiftly hitting me in the arm as she let out a laugh. She always knew how to make me smile. Even when I hated her she was the only person other than Octavia capable of making me smile. But I guess that's what made her stand out from the rest of the 100. She was different.

Eventually, everyone fell asleep except Clarke and I. So, to pass the time Clarke began telling me stories of life after Praimfaya.

"Well, you would think that surviving is great but when you're alone you really just start to feel like you're losing your mind. It's like you can do whatever the hell you want, but what's the point of doing whatever the hell you want if you can't enjoy doing it with anyone. Obviously, once I found Madi she began to keep me sane, but before that, I could slowly feel myself going crazy." Her eyes were wide as she talked about what it felt like to be alone. Although, I had been with 6 other people I felt like I could relate to her because even when we were altogether without her I felt like I WAS alone.

"I owe Madi my life. She's been my world for the past 6 years and I don't think I would have made it without her. She really just gave me the will to live. I had no contact with anyone from the bunker and I didn't have any communication with the Ark it did take a large toll on me." She turned to look out the window. She was hiding her tears, but I let her. She didn't want to feel weak. "But it wasn't all bad, once Madi came into the picture we really got to look into everything. We found a few hidden bunkers and places with old supplies. It was convenient. Madi and I fixed the Rover. We really just got to explore the world without anyone getting in our way. It was beautiful, but there was always a part of me that wished I could do this with you."

I looked over at her meeting her cool blue eyes. I placed my hand on her thigh caressing the outside of it with my thumb. Her body instantly relaxed as I touched her. I couldn't help but smile at the thought. I was the only one who could instantly relax her.

"What was it like on the Ark? You got to know for the most part what it was like down here, but I don't know much about what you did up there." Clarke's eyes were filled with curiosity.

"Well, Monty made moonshine almost immediately so for the first few days that's all I really had. Well, actually that's all I had until you began to radio us." Her face fell I could tell she was disappointed. "In my defense, though there wasn't much to do other than drink, eat, and sleep. I wasn't much help up there. Sometimes I felt like I just dragged everyone down. Like I was just a burden. But Monty, Raven, and Echo really kept me going. Monty and Raven helped me realize how stupid I was being. Echo helped me realize why I was being so stupid. I spent so many months regretting everything I had said and done, everything I hadn't said and hadn't done. But that's why once I knew you were alive I had all the motivation I needed to fight."