Captive Inu

Chapter 19

Kagome trudged numbly through the forest for what may have been hours. She didn't know where she was going. She was lost in every sense of the word. Her mind was a blank void, just like it was those moments when she'd first awakened in the evil hanyou's castle. Only this time, besides the single confused emotion she'd been feeling then, now she was drowning in a pool of many dark feelings.

She was tired. So very tired. Exhausted, really. And not just from walking all morning. Everything from her abuse at the hands of the spider hanyou, to her escaping him, to the mixed feelings she'd had for Sesshomaru and his blatant dislike of her, to yesterday's learning and remembering of her past life, to this morning's events- it was all catching up to her at a fast pace.

There was so many burdens weighing her down that she felt as if the world and beyond was on her shoulders. Naraku -oh, how she detested that bloody name- was probably looking for her. In fact, she knew he was. How many times had he told her over the centuries that she was his? That he'd never let her go, and if by some small chance she did manage to escape, it would not be for long? He had spies, she knew. With her out in the open and such, it was only a matter of time before they found her. And if not the spies, then there was always that damnable reincarnation of his. Kanna. The one who carried the mirror that was more than that. He was probably looking at her through it at this moment. Something that should have had Kagome alarmed, but she just couldn't find the energy.

Oh well. If he did find her, then she'd kill him or die trying. It seemed the outcome would be the latter, with the way she was feeling. But she would find him eventually. Their paths will cross and she will not go down without a fight this time.

Then there was the matter of her memories. She'd recollected the basics of them, such as who she was, what type of life she'd lived, and the many lessons she'd been taught on war and politics. During the times she'd spent in Naraku's castle, she always thought of herself as a commoner, or lowlife. After all, if she had been of importance to someone, anyone, then surely they would have sought her out. It was true she'd often imagine she belonged somewhere and was vital to that place, but those were just fantasies. At least, she'd thought they were at the time. Now she knew better. She was the heir to the northern lands.

That was another thing. Heir. Ruler. The words were foreign, yet all-too-familiar. She was born and bred to be one of Japan's most powerful bodies. Day in and day out she'd been drilled on what it took to be a ruler, to always put her people's needs before her own, to lead with a strong hand, yet have compassion towards her people. And she'd been ready to take on such a responsibility, despite how there were those who had thought her being the sole ruler was taboo. Naraku had taken her life from her, but fate -cruel entity that it was- had allowed her to escape. It didn't matter if there was still a part of her that was reluctant to seek out her destiny. The people of the north, whether they liked it or not, needed her. Needed salvation from the monster that had become her brother. And she'd be damned if she allowed them to continue on with their suffering when she knew there was something she could have done to stopped it.

And, finally, there was Sesshomaru. The cold, amber-eyed, handsome, ruthless, non-empathetic, overbearingly demanding silver-haired Lord of the West. Kagome hated him. Well, not exactly hated him, but she disliked the brute on a very high level. He was crude, brutally honest, and uncaring. Kagome could count on one hand all of his finer qualities. But for some odd reason, she harbored feelings for him, ones she didn't understand. She yearned for him, though not once has he given her a reason to. Perhaps it was his strength and power, or the way carried himself proudly. Or maybe it was the tender way he, a powerful Daiyoukai, cared for little Rin, a mere human girl. Whatever it was, she found herself drawn to him, regardless of all the overly painful things he'd said to her. They hurt, almost unbearably so, yet even now some tiny, traitorous part of her missed him.