Captive Inu

Chapter 22

Kagome was miserable. Thoroughly, utterly, completely, one hundred percent miserable. And not just because she was feeling nauseous after riding AhUn for hours. No, it was because her being pregnant weighed her down even more than her other problems. The kamis truly were sick minded. Just like she really was cursed.

She had mixed feelings about having another fetus growing in her womb. And at the worst possible times! There was no telling how close danger lurked, or where. She didn't yet have a sturdy home in which to raise her child. Even if her brother simply scooted over and allowed her to take her place on the throne, there was still the matter of cleaning up his mess and preparing for what could be another great war.

She supposed her one and only saving grace to that matter was that Inu pups were only carried for no more than a few months. Which made the fact that the Inu population wasn't as large as it should be surprising.

What would Sesshomaru think of learning she was, yet again, carrying his pup? Thankfully the healer back at the village had sworn not to tell anyone, Sesshomaru especially. She wish she knew what he was thinking sometimes. That way it would be easier to communicate with him. Would he demand she kill the fetus while it was still fresh? Would he declare he wanted nothing to do with it?

Even as she asked herself those questions, she knew the answer was no. Despite his coldness, he was nothing if not honorable. He'd take care of his pup because it was his duty. But would he love it? As much as she wanted her baby to grow up having both its parents, under no circumstances did she want it to grow having only one parent loving it unconditionally.

Would he claim the baby wasn't even his? That question gave Kagome pause. He already thought she was a whore. He'd already said as much. Kagome knew without a doubt the pup was his. It couldn't be Naraku's. She would have already began showing if that were the case. Besides, in the entire time frame of three centuries he'd not once managed to impregnate her, thank the kamis. And she sure as hell hadn't yet shared her bed with anyone other than Sesshomaru.

Kagome thought of her own self. She'd lost one pup already. What if she lost this one? She'd loved her other pup, and already she loved this one. But what if she failed to protect this one? Would she be able to get over the pain? She hadn't even gotten over the other one. Well, to be fair, she'd missed out on three centuries' worth of grief.

As if sensing her distress, Kirara, perched on her shoulder, mewled softly and nuzzled Kagome's cheek. With a sigh, Kagome stroked the neko between its ears.

'What am I going to do?' Kagome wailed inside her head, needing some form of guidance.

'Tell him,' her beast replied, sounding as tired as she felt.

'I will... Soon.' The time wasn't right. Hell, the time would probably never be right. Probably not until it was too late.

Her beast grumbled inside her head, then went back to lying quietly in the back of her mind. What help! Kagome worried her bottom lip. She didn't like sharing her problems with others, mostly because they were her own. But she feared she'd explode any moment now if she kept it all bottled up inside. Plus, having as much stress as she had at the moment couldn't be good for the baby.

Kagome wished like hell Sango was here at the moment. She needed the companionship, the comfort of another female. Kouga had been her best friend for ages, yet he would not always be around when she needed him. He did, after all, live in the south. All the way across the country of Japan. He had his own problems to worry about. Inuyasha, bless his heart, would probably end up loosing his mind, or try to kill his brother, breaking the very fragile bond they'd formed over the week. And Kazu... Ever since Sesshomaru had stopped whatever was about to happen three nights ago, he hadn't spoken to her. Hadn't even looked at her. Kagome worried that maybe he was ashamed of what had happened, or if fear of his lord kept him from seeking her out.