I Hate Love

No

After coming out of the toilet, I check my hair to fix a few loose strands and walk out into the mass of people dancing ridiculously. I laugh at their stupidness. I see Lilly and Sam talking in the corner, Lilly bursts out in a fit of laughter at something Sam must've said. I smile even wider at my very happy best friend, then walk back towards the gazebo.

As my feet walk out the open double doors, I lift my head to see my nightmare.

The schools bitch, Lauren Taylor has her lips suctioned against Lucas' face.

No!

My mind screams in fury, and all my forgotten insecurities resurface. I fight my eyes away from it and run across the parking lot with the tears flowing down my cheeks. I run, not knowing where I'm going, just somewhere away from my destroyed hopes. I eventually can't run anymore and collapse on the the cold grass, next to a bunch of bushes. Sobs crack my body uncontrollably.

It happened again.

The thing I tried for years to avoid. Heartbreak.

I let out a whimper.

My thoughts curse me for being so stupid, letting someone into my life, making me vulnerable. My thoughts resurface the forgotten pain and my body curls over, making me fall in a crumpled position on the ground.

I thought he loved me. I really thought he was different from the usual shallow, big-headed boys her walk the corridors of my school. I thought he was going to be something special, something I would want to spend every waking hour with.

No.

No, he turned out the same.

My strangled sobs fill the cool night air and in the distance I can hear a dog howl. Maybe he can sense my pain, maybe someone cares about me in this hell hole of a world.

I crave the comfort of a warm hug. Not just any hug, his. I let out another cry of pain, am I dying. This feeling in my chest makes me think that my heart is slowly caving in on itself, not able to handle another sob.

My pain drags on, like a never ending paper cut to my finger. I sit there crumpled in a ball, crying onto the silk of my dress.

Then a tap on my shoulder pulls me out of my suicidal thoughts. I look up to see the cause of my pain.

Lucas.