YOU HAD MY HEART

14. Feeling

i bameun geuri gilji anha
meomchugineun swipji anha
Everybody move move
gippeohal eomeoniwa abeoji

eumageun idaero chumchumyeo
keuge norae bureumyeo
Don't stop this feeling
iboda deo joheul suneun eomneungeol

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I tried my best sa mga lines na talagang magmukhang si TOP ang may sabi. Huhu. Mahaba-haba pa 'to. Sheeeet. Lololol.

***

"I wish I could stay like this forever." Alam ni Selene na narinig na niya ang linyang iyon sa kung saang kanta, libro o pelikula. Pero ibang-iba, kung paano iyon sinabi ni TOP.

Nakasandal ang si TOP sa kanya. Nasa manmade kubo sila sa likod-bahay. His hands are on her waist. Para bang umaamot ito sa kanya ng lakas. Abot-split ends ang kilig niya.

"We can, TOP." Selene chuckled. Oh, god, she loves TOP so much. Hindi niya in-expect na mai-in love siya nang ganoon kalalim...na..

"Do you love me, Selene?" TOP almost whispered those words using his deep and intimate voice. She closed her eyes. Gusto niyang namnamin ang bawat sandali, gusto niyang i-pause ang oras. She remembered TOP's voice. Alam na alam niya ang uniqueness niyon. Alam niyang super na-appreciate niya si TOP sa If You, because his voice is extraordinary.

"Y-ye." Before she could able react, TOP kissed her. It was a slow and passionate kiss. Pakiramdam niya, sinasakop niyon ang bawat himayhay ng katawan niya.

He was gently nibbling her lips as if he has all the time in this world. Parang wala silang minamadali. Parang wala silang inaalalang kahit ano. It was the most magical moment of his life. Tinalbugan niyon ang lahat ng pagkakataong sumakay siya sa Ferris wheel sa EK.

She had always dreaming of kissing GD in her dreams but in her reality, TOP was the one who had made her dreams come true. Ang sarap pa lang mahalikan ng isang tulad ni TOP. Parang sasabog ang dibdib niya dahil sa lakas ng kabog ng puso niya.

"Saranghae. Saranghae, Oh, god." TOP said after the kiss. He is intently looking at her. Sapo nito ang dalawang pisngi niya. Her tears started to fall. Na agad niyang pinunasan. Mukha siyang dugyot kapag humagulhol siya roon nang walang dahilan. 

Wala siyang ideya sa konsepto ng love, eversince. Sa itinagal-tagal niyang fangirl, never did she imagined that a man will love her. At ang kaalamang si TOP iyon, ay wala talaga sa in-expect niya.

She looked at him. At his eyes, his perfect nose, his lips. Those lips, natikman lang niya iyon kanina lang.  She is indeed the luckiest fangirl in the world at that moment. 

"Don't cry, love." Kilig na kilig siya sa boses ni TOP. Nakakainis! "I want to tell you something."

Kinabahan si Selene, bigla. "What it is?"

"I remembered some fragments of my memory. Like I was being chased by two men. The next fragment, is I am inside an office, there was this man and we are having a serious argument." Nagyuko ng ulo si TOP.

Ibig sabihin may humahabol kay TOP? Bakit naman ito hahabulin kung nasa military ito? At nakikipagtalo ito? Kanino? Sa Big Boss ba ng YG?

Nakita ni Selene na napahawak si TOP sa ulo. "Don't force yourself too much, okay?"

"Thank you, Selene. I don't know what will happen if you're not here."

I know TOP, same here.

TOP held her hand. Feeling niya nasa isang Korean drama sila nang mga sandaling iyon. Hindi lang masyadong bagay ang kubo para sa setting. Okay na rin dahil hero material naman si TOP.

"Nah, we will figure out all of it, one step at a time okay?"

Tumango si TOP. Kinurot nito ang pisngi niya. Natawa tuloy siya.

"When did you start to realize, that you uhm, love me?" Kelan ba kasi?

"I didn't know. Probably, it happened every morning that I am waiting for you to come down. Or rather the way you talked to me, the way you treated me. You respected my privacy. You care about me. You're like a beaming ray of light, Selene. You always made me feel...special."

Napanga-nga si Selene. TOP's personality is different. Hindi nga ata ito ang tipo ng lalaki na nagsasabi ng mga ganoong salita.

"Ahmm..."

TOP laughed. Kinabig pa siya palapit sa katawan nito.

"You know what Selene? I don't remember what kind of person I am back then. What are my interests, what are my beliefs. But I think I don't experienced this kind of feeling towards a person."

Lunod na lunod na siya sa titig ni TOP. Hindi siya puwedeng umiyak!

"I am so damned lucky," sabi niya.

"No, I am. You show me the different side of this world." TOP smiled.

"Ha? Ano naman? Like what?"

"The simplicity of life. I have no idea but I am sure that I am some sort of filthy rich guy in Korea."

Natawa siya sa word na 'filthy' parang bagay nga iyon kay TOP, 'filthy' handsome, hot and oozing with sex appeal! But his words are somehow...deep.

"Yeah. BIGBANG is very famous. You are travelling around the world."

"So tell me, Selene, tell me something about my self. About being TOP of BIGBANG."

Sinabi na ngang si Ji Yong ang bias ko eh! 

"Well, hmm, you're a good rapper. A very talented one. Hm? You're a bit serious but...naughty."

Totoo naman iyon. Napanuod niya sa mga guestings ng BIGBANG na malakas mantrip si TOP. and he made him look hotter. Na si TOP, (sabi nga isang VIP na nakilala niya online) daw ang tipong jowa na kayang sakyan lahat ng kabaliwan mo. Puwedeng maging serious type, puwede ring maging makulit. 

"Naughty, huh?" TOP smirked. Ang sexy shet!!!!

"Ye, you're also playful." Ang erotic naman yata ng mga description niya! Naughty and playful!

"Uh, huh. How?" He is obviously teasing her. 

"Urusai." Fudge mali, japanese ang nasabi niya. "I mean, shut up okay? Basta, hm, In short, you're a great person. As the oldest in the group, as their hyung you are great. And you are sweet. "

"You are sweet too." Tumingin ito sa mga labi niya. Magtigil nga ito!

"What if. Someone will take you back?" pigil na pigil siya sa paglunok. Ayaw na sana niyang tanungin iyon pero kailangan. Kailangan na niyang maramdaman ang sakit habang kaya pa niya. Habang malakas pa siya.

"I'll find out who I am, then I will come back to you."

"it's impossible, TOP. I mean, I am just an ordinary person living in a third rate country." Gusto niyang matawa. Kahit kailan talaga fail ang mga punch line. Bakit ba kasi hindi na lang niya sabihin na hindi yata sila nararapat sa isa't isa.

"Don't overthink that. I love you okay? We'll make a way?"

TOP hugged her. Alam ni Selene na walang assurance ang relasyon nila. Walang kasiguruhan. Baka bukas hindi na niya kasama si TOP. Baka bukas may mga pulis na sa bahay nila at makasuhan na siya ng kidnapping.

Is she worth fighting for?

"I'll make a way for us. I will find you. Just trust me. I need you to trust me. "

Selene didn't know either. Basta ang alam niya, ilalaban niya si TOP kahit sagupain pa niya ang milyon-milyon nitong fangirls.