Adopted by One Direction

Chapter 12-Why? (Part 3)

Hey guys. So I know you guys are probably wonder why Anna cut herself this time and I know it wasn't very well explained. Good news! All of that is explained in this chapter. I'm trying this thing where all my chapters from now one have to have at least 1,000 words cuz I got complaints about them being short. If you guys have any questions, comments, or concerns, let me know in anyway, shape, or form. I love hearing feed back. Like seriously, you guys leave no comments. I don't care if you say I'm a horrible writer, I just want to know your opinion. xoxoXIIIlegal

Anna POV

I wake up and see a blinding white light shined in my eyes. Am I dead? Before my eyes could adjust, I hear a solid beep that registers as a heart monitor. Why did the boys have to save me? I tried to kill myself for a reason, that reason was not to just pass out and have the boys bring me to the hospital. Before I can think what I'm going to say to any of the boys, the door swings open and they come rushing in.

"ANNA!" they shout in unison.

I smile weakly. Sure I wish I was dead, but that doesn't mean the I don't like seeing them.

The all huddle around my bed and manage to hug me.

"You know we're going to have to talk about this at some point," Louis states.

"Yeah. Can we just not do it now? I don't think I have the time or energy to explain the entire story." I request.

"Of course, sweetheart. Just explain whenever you're ready and we'll listen," Louis says gently.

I give him a slightly more enthusiastic smile this time. It's 3'o clock! Wow. I would've guessed it was 7am. Meh. My internal clock is off. Why am I so tired? I just woke up. It must be some of this medicine the doctors are pumping into my veins.

"Tired?" Niall questions. He's always so observant.

"Yeah," I sigh.

"Okay. We'll be at the studio about 15 minutes away. Call us if you need anything and we'll be right over. By anything, I mean anything. If you want us to bring your laptop or clothes or if you just want some company. Okay?" Liam says with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Okay." I reply

All five of them kiss my head and exit shutting the door behind them.

How am I supposed to sleep in a room this bright? UGH! I burried my face under the white sheets of my covers and noticed it could actually be dark enough for me to fall asleep. Pulling the white sheets over my head I allowed darkness to take over.

When I wake up it's 5:00.

You're going to have to tell them eventually.

But what if they don't understand?

They will!

What if they decide that the way I think is fucked up and the send me back?

They won't! They promised, remember?

This banter went on for a while in my head and before I knew what was happening my finger had pressed the green call button on my iPhone.

"Hey baby girl, what's up?" Louis answers into the phone.

"I think I'm ready to tell you why," I breathe out.

". . .Okay. Yeah. We'll be right over" he stutters. That was probably the last thing he expected to come out of my mouth.

15 minutes no show. If they were just at the studio where they said they would be, shouldn't they be here?

It's been half an hour now, still no show.

45 minutes and the door swings open.

"Sorry we're late! Fans mobbed us the second we stepped out of the studio!" Zayn panted.

I studied their clothing. Ripped, tattered, missing sleeves, strangely in the exact right places. Almost like a television show or movie. What matters is that they're here. I took a deep breath to brace myself for their future disappointment.

"So the reason I cut myself, or pretty much tied to kill myself is because I don't deserve all this. I don't deserve this celebrity life with you guys. I don't deserve to be able to ask for something and it's in my hand the second I snap my fingers. All my life, when my mom was here, she raised me in a way that was fair and equal, one where things were repaid and balanced, but now I'm here with you guys and it feels like I'm living with as much struggle as a Kardashian. I feel awful not being able to repay you guys and you have given me more things than I could use in a lifetime. The guilt was eating me from the inside out! It was killing me! I felt like there was no way to repay you for everything you've done and I couldn't take the guilt anymore."

"Your life was not fair before. No one deserves to be raped and abused. All we've tried to do is fix you-" Harry begins.

"You think I need fixing? I'm perfectly fine! I have the maturity to live on my own, I've tried to reject everything you have tried to give me but you guys push and push! I use as few outfits as possible, I try to eat as little food as possible without you guys thinking I'm more anorexic than I already am, I use my phone only to call you guys and check my text messages from you occasionally, and I haven't touched the laptop or the iPad in my room. If you check, it there's a thin layer of dust accumulating on top. The remote for the tv hasn't moved an inch. So if you think I need fixing, then your wrong. I can survive on bare necessities while you guys can't live a day without wi-fi!" I rant.

"Please let me explain this without you interrupting me this time. What I meant to say is that we treat you the way we do because we love you. I know we've only known you for a short while, but I know that I have fallen in love with you and I would take a bullet for you," Harry states firmly.

"Yeah. And we have tried to give you space and let you adjust to us, but it's hard when you're basically shutting the world out. We see you for like an hour a day during meals and maybe a few extra minutes here and there but we want to see your beautiful self and laugh at your amazing sense of humor and be genuinely amazed at your perfect personality," Louis gently comforts.

"Please. Stop shutting us out. We want to get to know you better," Niall coos.

I sigh. "I guess I can try" I weakly smile.