The One

Chapter 11: Thoughts and Runs.

Alyssa's P.O.V

My free period the next day found me in the library. And no, not reading... hiding, thinking. I needed quiet, even though I knew I couldn't necessarily get peace anywhere.

It seems like this is going to be the highlight of my senior year; thoughts and runs... It has a nice ring to it. Thinking, then running from those thoughts at the same time.

But I hate thinking. It makes my head hurt, and running gives me leg cramps. Guess I just have to endure all the pain, hopefully it'll be worth it.

Maybe a book could calm me down. This is a library, there must be a therapy book of some sort around here. I hadn't even began to stand up when I saw him. He wore an ash V neck shirt, jeans, Vans and the school's varsity jacket, and he was headed my way.

Should I leave? It'll be like I didn't see him... but then if he calls my name it'll be extremely awkward...

"I had a feeling you'd be here, since it's the least place I'd be," he said, slicing through my thoughts.

Just ignore him, and he might go away.

"I know you're avoiding and trying to ignore me... and I'm not sure why, but I'm sorry."

Fuck, I can't do this.

"What do you mean you're sorry?" I was looking at him now. He can't be sorry, I was the one who ran away... Only people who fuck up apologize, and he didn't... I did.

"Can I sit down? Is that okay with you?" he asked slowly, unsure.

Great, now he thinks I have personal space issues, or I was chiraptophobic*. Wonder what gave him that idea... oh yeah, me.

"It's fine." I nodded. He looked relieved as he sat.

"Thanks. And about yesterday, I'm sorry for... you know, the wiping and sucking. It was a bit inappropriate and I shouldn't have done it. Forgive me?" he asked, smiling slightly.

Why is he apologizing? If I didn't have trust issues, I would have loved the wiping and sucking thing. Heck I can still feel that spot warming up just remembering. If anything, I should be the one going 'I'm sorry.'

"No," I whispered to myself. Unfortunately, he heard.

"No?" he whispered back.

Why are we whispering?

"No, no, I meant no don't apologise because it should be me doing that. I shouldn't have left like that, so I'm sorry." I said. He smiled to me.

"Oh cool, although I wasn't expecting that. Well I actually wanted to ask you something."

I didn't say anything, so he took my silence as approval to keep talking.

"There's a game today, and I was wondering if you could come watch?" he asked hopefully.

No, no, no, no, no, no... This can't happen. It was supposed to be just a one time thing. If I keep saying yes, I'll just keep raising the expectations bar. I don't want him to expect too much or even anything from me... it's pointless doing that.

You're running again...

I am. And maybe if I keep running, he'll get tired of chasing. It's only a matter of time before he finds some other girl... some other normal, stable girl... just like he did.

Not me... I'm too unstable.

I'm so unstable, I'm not sure my heart would be able to take another hit when yet another guy gets tired and fed up with me. It's barely holding on together as it is.

I felt a cool hand touch mine. "Hey Alyssa? You alright?" I looked at where our hands touched, mine pale from gripping the chair too tight. He noticed my look and withdrew his hand, causing me to blush hard.

It was probably from the embarrassment, or from the fact that I caught myself enjoying the contact bit too much. Warning bells rang in my head.

"Sorry about that. So uhh, will you come?" he scratched the back of his head. The bell rang at that moment, and I was never so happy that I had to go to a class.

"Oh, sorry, gotta go," I replied getting up. "See you later". I hope not.

Outside I let out a loud sigh. We said the word 'sorry' six times, and I walked out on him for the fourth time since we met.

Alyssa, you are getting way too involved...

---

He took me up on my 'see you later' offer.
Shannon, Rowan and I were right outside in the parking lot, and I'll assume he'd been waiting for us to come out, because not long after we got out, I saw him walking towards us.

Note to self: has stalker-ish tendencies.

My best friends don't know about any of the events that has happened to me in the short span of a day. Not the 'confrontation' or the little 'moments' I've had with Cameron. I don't want to tell them, but I know they'll find out...

I just hope he's done chasing by then.

"Oh, hey Cameron." Shannon greeted.

"Hi Shannon, Rowan." I avoided his stare.

"Hello." said Rowan. "Not to be rude or anything, but are you here for someo-" I bumped my hand into her side mistakenly. "..something?" she corrected, staring daggers at me.

Smart girl.

"Yeah, so are you coming Alyssa?" he asked. Shannon interrupted before I could firm a word.

"Coming for what?"

"The game. So?" Stop asking!

"I uhh,..." I trailed. I heard an exasperated sigh.

"Of course she's coming." Rowan answered.

What? No she's not.

"Yeah, we're all coming," nodded Shannon.

Seriously??

"Great. See you there." he said mostly to me than my friends. When he left, I faced Rowan.

"When did we agree on this?"

"Now. Come on, I practically saved you from speaking gibberish, Aly. Heaven knows you need some action in your life."

If only you knew, Rowan, if only...

"Well said, Rowan," nodded Shannon.

"Oh please, you're just happy 'cos Darren's going to be there." she deadpanned, making the blonde blush.

"And what about you Rowan? Don't you need some 'action' in your life?" I asked sarcastically, air quotting action.

"We all do," she replied evasively. "Now can we go home?"

Well that was... strange.

In a bid to lighten the mood, I asked her if she wanted to ride in Tammy.

"There's no way in hell I'd ride in that. It looks like it'll fall apart any minute." she laughed.

"You should really get yourself a new car Alyssa. You've got the cash, so why the trash?" she inquired, pointing to my truck.

"Shh... you'll hurt her feelings." I said patting the truck. "Tammy's my first vehicle and we've made memories together."

"Yeah well you better change her before you don't have anymore memories to make." Rowan muttered. I blocked my ears and got in, sticking my tongue out at them before driving out.

I am doing a very bad job at running.

---

AUTHOR'S RANT.

I'm suprised you haven't given up yet, Cameron seems very determined.

*Chiraptophobia means the fear of being touched, or of close contact. And yes, I looked it up.

Pic above = Jacob Sartorius(Ivan).

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Mad love,
Reverdii. •. •