Red and White Flags || Oliver Sykes

19

It's been about two months now. My room was quiet, with only the little murmurs coming from the tv. The bed was uncomfortably cold without Oli. Everything is just cold without him. Work was even more boring, and life's just been dull and bland. The only thing that's really keeping me going is Cassie. She hasn't been taking this at all. She's constantly crying, and blaming herself. I have to keep telling her that it's not her, and that it's Oli. I have to ack like nothing's wrong when I'm around Cassie, cause I know that things would get worse if she sees that I'm hurting.

There was a noise in the hallway, so I look up to see Cassie standing in the door way. She walked over to the bed and got in with me. She cuddled up against me, and I can feel her tears soak through my shirt.

"Why does this have to happen?" Cassie asked.

"I don't know sweetie. Oli is just a childish person. He isn't ready for a relationship."

"Don't talk about dad like that. Yeah, he cheated, but you both cheated on each other. You had sex with Curtis. Maybe this was payback."

"Oli and I wasn't dating back then though. And he's an asshole if he cheated for payback."

"But you guys weren't even dating now. It still counts as cheating. You both loved each other, but you did it with someone else. You both hurt each other, and that's cheating. I should be mad at both of you instead of just being mad at dad. You both cheated, and that's not fair. You two were selfish, and didn't even think about your daughter. I went thirteen years without knowing who my father was. Then once I get to know him, you both cheat and mess things up. You said that Oli wasn't ready for a relationship, but I think both of you guys weren't." Cassie yelled.

I sighed knowing that Cassie was right, but it's too late now.

"First off, don't raise your voice with me. Second off, it's too late to fix things. I blocked his phone number, and all of his social media. I just don't think that I can deal with him anymore. "

"So, you're never getting back with dad?"

"No. I'm done with him."

"But you cheated in the first place!"

"Don't you think I know that. Yes I cheated. Yes he cheated. We both cheated. But I just can't deal with him anymore. "

"There you go being selfish again. He's my dad. What are you going to do with me? Am I ever going to see him again?"

"Cassie, stop talking to me like I'm one of your goddamn friends. I'm not being selfish, you are. You aren't going to see him until you are out of this house. So until then, keep his name out of your mouth." Cassie was now an emotional reck, sobbing violently.

"This is so unfair. I hate you!" She stomped off to her room.

She's acting like such a brat, but she has the right to. My mind is just in  a million different places right now, and I can't think. I know that I was the first one to cheat, and Oli was so nice to forgive me right then and there. Why did he even forgive me? Our whole entire relationship is just a mess. I go to the kitchen and look at all the wine I have. I was about to pour myself a glass of wine, but I saw that I had vodka . I decided to just take shots of vodka instead of having wine. This, I knew, was a bad idea, but I needed something to just wash all of this away.

An hour later, and I'm as drunk as ever. I'm just sitting on the kitchen floor with my last shot in my hand. I could get alcohol poisoning, but I didn't  care. I tried getting up, but I fell immediately after. I can either stay here, or crawl my way back to my room. I somewhat army crawled my way to the stairs. As I was going up the stairs, Cassie saw me. She looked at me in disbelief and anger, but I saw a little bit of sorrow.

"Hey princess, can you please help mommy up the stairs?" I slurred. I could barely understand myself, so I know that she had a hard time understanding. She just nodded and took my hand. She struggled a little, but she managed to get me up to my bed.

"Thanks Cassie. I love you so much."

"Love you too mom." She said as she kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry for my little episode I had. I'm just really hurt."

"Oh it's fine. I understand . Trust me, I'm hurting more than ever. I cry every night. I cry so loud, that I sometimes feel like you would wake up and here me. But it's all fine. I deserve this. I cheated first, and then he cheated. I loved him a lot, but I guess it just wasn't our fait.." I would never tell Cassie any of this, but the alcohol took down all of my safety guards.

"I'm so sorry mom. You two are meant to be, you just had bumps, well, big bumps in the road. I'll try to make things better."

"Okay.... Cassie." I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep. I felt one more kiss on my forehead, and I was sound asleep.