Hidden Beast

36. The Kiss

Jasper

Hours later egen I finally gave up I had adjusted and readjusted at least a tousandth times with some inflections and tips from Ruby.

It hadn't been much better than getting some centimeters closer to the middle, when I had got closer it was more by accident than skill

"You're doing great today Jasper, you're getting better" she said encouragingly.

She was packing up and I was rubbing my sore shoulder, the gun sure punched back after some time of shooting.

I nodded gratefully and watched her push the target on its right place. when she stretched her arms the shirt she was wearing showed her lower back.

An overwhelming urge to touch her took over me and I took one step towards her before I snapped back and stopped myself, scolding my innapropriate thoughts.

"You're a fast learner I think that with more training you will be able to call yourself a professional, it will take time until that tough" she said positively and I smiled at that, she really thought I could do it.

"I think you should train more on the lessons, I don't know if I could gather time to anymore private lessons" she said apologetically and that's when I noticed I had walked up to her as she had talked.

I stopped my hand mid air as it reached out to her and pushed it to my side.

She turned and jumped at the shock of seeing me so close, she hadn't noticed I was right behind her.

She searched my face "What is it? Are you okay?" she asked me worriedly and I grimaced. She was too close.

I nodded strangely and gave her a stiff smile, she didn't seem to be convinced but she didn't ask anymore.

"Well, we need to go now, it's getting late" she explained and walked past me. Her hair brushed my cheek and that's my undoing.

I couldn't think or control myself as I gripped her wrist and tugged her to me. When she turned to me with a shocked face I firmly pressed my lips on hers.

Ruby

Shocked wasn't even the beginning to describe what I felt right now. The instant Jasper tugged me towards him and pressed his lips onto mine made me go rigid.

At first I didn't respond to his kiss but as soon as he realized this and began to turn away I yanked him back to me and crashed my lips onto his.

Now it was his time to be shocked and go stiff but then he relaxed against me and put his arms around me waist pressing me against his body.

I laid all my passion and desire for him into the kiss, I wanted him to know what I felt even if no one could ever know, especially not right now.

He seemed eager to response with the same desperate feelings and I put my arms around his neck and tugged him closer, never wanting to let go.

Then I suddenly pulled back and he stared confused and hurt up at me making me want to return to the moment we just had but I held back.

He breathed heavily just as me "I'm sorry Jasper, no one can ever know about this" I said breathlessly, pained to be forced to leave him.

"Why?" he asked, his chest heaving as he breathed. Closing my eyes I focused on his heavy panting instead of his body standing so close to me, in arms reach.

"I'm a judge in the competition, people might think I'm helping you to win" I said weakly, not the whole truth but definitely not a lie and hopefully enough for him to accept.

Just as I had expected it wasn't enough "You're not telling the whole truth, what are you hiding? I don't care about the stupid competition anyway" he said, why was he so observing? It felt like he could look trough me and see my darkest secrets.

I didn't want to look at him "I'm not good for you Jasper, I'm a monster" I said, that's the truth but I don't think he will ever guess how close to the truth it really was.

"Don't be silly" he said desperately, he seemed to be a very calm person so the desperation shocked me and was proof to how much this meant to him.

"You're not a monster Ruby, I know you want to help people and that's more than most people would do. No monster would want to help anyone" he said urgently like he wanted me to realize he was right, to believe him.

Tears prickled my eyes as I opened them again, he stood right in front of me and he looked like he was about to cry, he seemed to be afraid of losing me.

"Just because I don't want to be a monster doesn't mean I'm not a monster" I said, my voice hoarse.

He seems to panic and reached out to stroke my cheek, I cried. I hadn't even noticed I had begun to cry.

He kept his hand to my face and gently stroke my cheek "I don't think you're a monster, please, let me help you" he said desperately, his panic making me feel even worse.

"I don't want you to feel like this, I know you're a good person, please Ruby" he pleaded and I looked up at him trough the blurry of the tears.