H2OVanoss & Bitches

My Tide, Your Pull (H2OVanoss)

-TRIGGER WARNING-

My Wave, My Shark, My Demon In The Dark

The Blue Tide Pulling Me Under

Jonathan dreamt so easily, it was a thing to truly be jealous of. He could close his eyes and within minutes the outside world would be replaced by the deep blue sea. He would swim to the depths unknown, never afraid of what he might find, and when he wasn't swimming. He was floating, and there would always be two dogs on the beach. A bulky gray and black German Shepard and a fluffy Husky, the birds would caw and screech their bird sounds.

The air was warm and the wind carried the smell of salt and fresh rain. It was then his peace was broken. The water seemed to open and swallow him whole as he frantically tried to claw his way through the water and back to the surface but he just kept going further and further down until his lungs were burning and his head felt like it was about to explode until he fell onto a bed with a gasp.

He looked around, the walls were made of glass and the ocean surrounded him. There was no source of light but he could still see, could hear the sounds of the ocean rushing past and around him until it all stopped and everything lit up. He could see all of the little fish swimming around the tank he was captive inside and carefully, he took slow steps towards to edge where a little clown fish was waiting. He was about to tap the glass when a familiar voice spoke.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

He turned to look around at the bed at the other side of the tank, but no one. "Hey. Turn around dumbass, you were just looking at me."

Jonathan looked back at the little fish and squinted. "Craig?" Jonathan asked, mildly confused. "Well color me blue, he does understand. Okay, listen, Jonathan. You fucked up!" The fish with Craig's voice yelled. "You did something you knew better than to do and in the process, you hurt your friends. What did you think was gonna happen when he found out? That he was just gonna jump in and we were gonna have a threesome?"

"Hey don't point the finger -- fin at me! And don't act like you're the victim here, we both knew damn well the consequences of our actions but that didn't seem to stop either of us," Jonathan sighed, sitting down on the floor he watched as a pod of sharks swam underneath him. "Neither of us is the victim, Del, we're just the people who knew better. The real victims are the people we hurt."

"What's the point of this! Is my subconscious trying to make me feel even more guilty?!" Jonathan yelled pounding a fist against the floor and watched as the pod of sharks started taking a new direction. The fish with his friend's voice was gone when he looked up and he scoffed as he got up. "Fuck you!" Jonathan yelled, "Fuck you, you fucking prick!" he yelled as he beat against the glass with his fist.

He didn't stop, even when his fists were bruised and bleeding, he didn't stop until he heard the glass start to splinter. Wide eyed he took a step back, watching as the crack got bigger and bigger until water started pouring into the glass tank. The pod of sharks had dispersed until there was just one, the biggest one, with deep brown dead eyes and huge razor like teeth.

Jonathan watched as the shark swam away and circled back until it was barreling towards him. It smashed into the glass and the tank shattered around him. He was instantly consumed in the cold dark depths of the ocean, and he could feel the water rushing past him, felt the goosebumps rise as the shark circled him until it came closer.

This was his guilt in physical form, a great white shark with deep brown dead eyes and huge razor sharp teeth. It was going to consume him and his mind, and he would let it.

Jonathan closed his eyes, prepared for the razor sharp teeth to rip him to shreds but was surprised when he felt a hand grip the collar of his shirt and drag him up.

Standing On The World Outside
Are You My Soul, My Heart, Pulling Everything Apart

The first thing Evan heard when he walked in the door was the water running upstairs. He sighed, tossing the papers on the counter and was about to walk out when he heard a faint trickling sound. Walking to the stairs Evan saw the mini waterfall that was cascading down the stairs of his home. His heart sunk and a gasp caught in his throat as he quickly raced up them, he slipped around the corner and charged into the bathroom door but it didn't budge, "Jonathan!" Evan screamed, bashing into the door again, and again, and again until it came crashing down, him along with it.

The first thing he saw was the overflowing bathtub, then the bottle of sleeping pills on the counter, then Jonathan submerged under the water. He slipped over the small rug as he quickly ran to pull Jonathan out of the water, grabbing him by the first piece of clothing he could grip and pulled as hard as he could. The first thing he did was check his breathing, he didn't want to feel for a pulse, the fear of not finding one at all would make it all too real.

He started doing what he could, chest compressions, mouth to mouth - They make this look a lot easier on TV - Down and up, down and up, down and up, mouth to mouth, down and up. He went on for what felt like hours, not letting the tears break his rhythm. "Why did you do this, Del?" he brokenly asked, and stopped. He didn't bother wiping his tears away before he screamed angrily and harshly brought his fist down on the dead mans chest.

To Evan's shock, Jonathan coughed and sputtered. Hoarsely gasping for air, hands flailing around as they looked for something to grab onto. Evan didn't hesitate to pull the man to his chest. "Evan?" Jonathan croaked his name and he sobbed, nodding his head. "It's me, it's me baby. God, don't ever... don't ever do that to me again. I thought I lost you."

"I'm sorry... what I did-"

"Don't Jonathan... Just don't."

"But I have to," Jonathan coughed, spewing up more water as he gasped. "What. I did... Can never, ever be forgiven. So, I just want you to know, it's okay. I'm okay with whatever you want, have the house, it's yours anyway."

"If I can have anything... then why can't I have you back?"

"I can't do that to you, Ev. I can't look you in the eye, I can't sleep in that bed, and I hate myself for what I did to you. I look in the mirror... and I am disgusted by what I see. I-"

Evan stopped him by gripping his harder. "Stop it!" Evan shook his head, "Just stop Jonathan! Don't talk about yourself like that! So you make mistakes, you do stupid shit for a thrill, you're human Jonathan... I never wanted to leave you, you made me do it."

"Because some things can't be forgiven Evan," Jonathan sobbed, "You can't just shrug it off and act like it's no big deal."

Evan growled, shoving Jonathan against the wall. He opened his mouth, but stopped at the look in Jonathan's eyes, like he was ready for the worst. He loosened his harsh grip and leaned forward, connecting their lips and Jonathan went limp in his arms with a sigh.

Are You Gonna Be My Love?
Are You Gonna Be Mine?

"Do you love me?" Evan asked as they lay in bed, his thumb gently stroked Jonathan's bicep in small circles and he felt Jonathan's head nod lightly against his bare chest. "Always," Jonathan answered simply.

"Then be mine."

"What? What do you-"

"I want to have a fresh start. I want to move to a place where no one knows our names and you can walk on the sidewalk without being called a homewrecker."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm asking you to marry me."

There was a long pause, Evan kept his gaze straight ahead until Jonathan spoke. "I hear North Carolina is a nice place to settle down."

--

Hello again! I'm not dead, on the outside anyway. But really I'm here, alive and not as stone heavy as I have been so I'll probably pick back up again, nothing to crazy, at least maybe once a month if I can. probably start out with some drabbles and work our way up, yeah? And if I could turn off writer's block the switch would be broken, promise. Anyway... Bye.