H2OVanoss & Bitches

Problems (H2OVanoss)

Evan's loyalty tells his lies, and Jonathan's hope believes them. Addiction part 3.

"Jonathan..." Evan sighed out in his drunken stupor. What the hell, he thought incoherently. "Why's he here?" he asked himself. He started walking towards them when he stopped. "I'm drunk," he scoffed, rubbing his eyes only to still see his ex, sitting there hacking up a lung as he passed the blunt to the next person in the circle. "Fuck," he sighed.

Jonathan took the roll between his lips before he inhaled deeply and started hacking the moment the foul tasting smoke filled his lungs. Lara laughed at him as well as a few of the other people in the circle and Jonathan exhaled deeply, watching the smoke rise up to the ceiling.

It was the third time around that he laughed along with them. He didn't know what was so funny, but everything slowly started to dance around and he suddenly felt light, and free, and giddy. It felt like his stomach had become a bottomless pit and all those times Evan would sit on the couch binging on Pizza and Little Debbie's suddenly made sense. The girl sitting next to him, Lara, giggled as she took another hit. 

Did it really make it's way back to me already? He thought.

He didn't think about it all that much as he reached out for it ready to light it up and suck it down when someone grabbed it from his hands and he audibly groaned, but it caught in his throat when he looked up at the person that grabbed it. "Evan?" Jonathan mumbled but shook his head with a laugh. "I'm high as fucking... shit."

He looked back up and saw Evan still staring down at him with his eyebrows knit together and an annoyed look on his face. He turned to Lara and nudged her shoulder. "Hey," he said, poking Lara on the shoulder. "You see that guy right?" he asked, pointing to Evan. She looked around with glassy eyes for a moment before she smiled dumbly and nodded before seemingly producing curly fries from thin air and began eating them.

Jonathan sat there staring at his trippy high. "You look so real," he spoke with wide eyes as he reached out. But Evan grabbed his hand and pulled him up from the ground, leading him outside. "Well hey there stranger if you're gonna do that at least take me to dinner first," he laughed again. The cool air felt like knives of ice on his hot skin and he winced watching as Evan hauled a cab. "Where are we going?" Jonathan drawled, giggling as he looked around at all the bright and vivid colors that seemed to dance around.

Evan didn't look back, didn't speak, but he looked pissed.

--

One silent cab ride later Jonathan was walking into a hotel room. "What the fuck Evan?" he asked, still not really sure any of this was real. Evan walked over to the bed and sat down heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighed before he looked back up at him. "How many hits did you take?" Evan asked and Jonathan stared at him dumbly before he chuckled, which caused him to lean forward and lost balance, falling forward onto Evan.

"Um... A couple," he chuckled lightly and Evan sighed in frustration before gripping the edge of the bed so hard his knuckles were white and then suddenly shooting up from his spot. "Damn it, Jonathan! Why are you here?! Huh? No word in three years and suddenly you just show up, what the hell!?" Jonathan recoiled back, feet uneven underneath him until he fell flat on his butt, sitting down on the floor he looked at his hands for a long while hands.

"I ruined you," he said softly after a while. "I was supposed to the be broken but wise boyfriend, the one who cried in his sleep because of his problems and told you not to worry about yours because I would take care of you but I was too drunk to do all of that, instead I just lazed around like a damn sloth while you took care of me to the point where it became too much for you, you watched me dig myself a hole that I wouldn't be able to climb out of and in the process I dragged you down with me."

Evan stared at Jonathan a bit bewildered. Even in the beginning, he had never heard Jonathan speak so smoothly before. His voice was always slurred, either with sleep or alcohol and hearing him like this was something he didn't think would ever happen. And the longer he sat there the more the dull ache in the front of his head throbbed, the more he could see that distant look in Jonathan's eyes begin to fade. 

"We have a lot of problems, Jonathan... But all of that stuff you said; it's not true." Jonathan looked up at him, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes solemn. "What do you mean, of course-" - "Jonathan stop!" Evan pleaded, kneeling down on the floor to get level with him, looking into his eyes Evan sighed and grabbed hold of his hand. "I- we... are the farthest thing from okay, we're both broken in some way but... do I tell you the truth?" 

"It wasn't your fault," Evan sighed and Jonathan tilted his head. "I was on that stuff before we even met, it's true that there was a little bit of added stress but when it came to seeing you like that, but you weren't the reason I started."

Jonathan looked into his eyes for a bit longer before gently raising a hand to trace over his cheek bone. "Please..." Jonathan spoke weakly, looking on the verge of tears, "Please look me in the eye and tell me that's the truth."

Evan took hold of his wrist and nodded, leaning further into his touch. "It is! It is Jon, it was never you. It was me, it was all me."

Jonathan nodded, trying to blink the tears away but they still fell and he sobbed pulling Evan into a tight embrace and sobbing into his shoulder as Evan bit his lip to keep his mouth in check. "I love you," Evan mumbled into Jonathan's shoulder and Jonathan just nodded, only hoping that it was really true.

--

Hello again! I've been gone for a long time huh? I'm really sorry about that, writer's block is kinda been kicking my ass for these past few weeks, months... how long has it been? Actually, don't tell me I'll just feel even worse. By the way, I have a new book! It's just volume two of this one because I feel that a fresh start is needed, but anyway check it out. It only has two chapters but a shit ton of drafts that just keep piling up so send me a request in the mean time and I'll see what I can do. Also how do you guys feel about the ending, this is the first thing I've posted in a while so I just wanna hear what you guys think of it.