H2OVanoss & Bitches

Slip Away (H2OCat)

Tyler looked down at the photo he held in his hands. The happy faces that once belonged to him and Jonathan as they stood in front of their new house together, their fingers linked together tightly and unlikely to ever pull apart.

Except that they have, at least he has.

Jonathan smiles and smiles, so in love with him. But it's getting harder and harder for Tyler to convince himself that he still feels the same. He did at one point, considered what it would be like to grow old and cranky together, maybe even have a kid or two. 

But those thoughts have faded. Each night he lies awake next to him, just looking for any sign that what he felt might still be there, but it always results in him slipping out of bed and wandering around the house. Creeping back into bed a few minutes before dawn and waits for Jonathan to wake up.

He watches him intently every morning, remembering every smooth line of his body and what it felt like against his own and he tries so hard to tell himself that he's still in love, but when Jonathan leaves for work. He curls up into a ball and cries. 

Cries for the love he once felt. A love, that is now gone.

--

When Jonathan walked through the door that evening Tyler sat on the couch, an overnight bag sitting next to him, clear as day. Jonathan took notice of it immediately and he scrunched his eyebrows up in confusion.

"What's that for?"

Tyler sighed, got up from his spot and walked over to him, resting his hands on the other man's shoulders. He pressed their lips together in a deep kiss and Jonathan sighed into it, responding back by bitting on his lip and Tyler felt empty. 

He pulled away and Jonathan tried to follow him, but Tyler stopped him and Jonathan looked at him. Confused. 

"What's wrong?"

Tyler scrubbed a hand over his face before pulling him into a hug. Jonathan hesitantly wrapped his arms around him but still, nothing. And Tyler sighed shakily into the fabric of Jonathan's jacket.

"This... I... I can't. Not anymore..."

He spoke as he pulled away, keeping his hands firmly placed on Jonathan's shoulders. Looking at his face, his eyes, and his lips. Tyler felt tears stinging at the corners of his eyes and he blinked them back before stepping away.

"I'm sorry."

He said as he grabbed the bag from the couch and walked to the door. He opened it and then felt a hand on his shoulder. He told himself not to look, but he caved and looked back at Jonathan.

"Jon-"

"No... no, it's just... What happened, to us?"

Tyler shrugged. 

"I tried... I really, really fucking tried, Jon. It was real, in the beginning. But I just can't anymore. I don't... I don't love you, anymore."

Jonathan's hand dropped from its spot and Tyler sighed, looking down at the ground before turning back around and walking out the door. 

"It's okay."

Tyler turned on his heel and stared back at him with wide eyes. Jonathan stood in the doorway still, a sad smile on his face as tears rolled down his cheeks and Tyler felt a small warmth in his chest, but he ignored it and nodded, turning back around and slipping away for the last time.

--

The song is so sadly beautiful that I'm not even gonna attempt my normal outro; I straight up depressed myself with this one. Sorry. D: