Why

Chapter 24

Next day

Abby's POV.

It's the day after my mom died and we all stayed home from school. I had to be the older one once we got here but now all I want to do is curl up and die. Without my mom I'm nothing at all. She could make me smile no matter what happened. All 4 of us were really close after my dad left. Hayes Alex and Nash went to play Xbox but I denied. Ashley has been sleeping up in Elizabeth's room, and I was on the couch. I open my phone and tears pour down my face. My wallpaper was of me and my mom.

I can't take this anymore. I get up and run to the upstairs bathroom. I rush in and shut and lock the door. I slide to the ground and cry into my hands. Why her. Why my mom. I deserved to die not her. My mom was perfect. She was tall and thin with dirty blond hair. She had hazel eyes and was beautiful. Me on the other hand I'm short unhealthily skinny, I have blonde ugly wavy hair and I have poop brown eyes. I'm not pretty and I'm not perfect. I stand up and look at myself. 'Haha your so ugly! No one likes you anymore. Hayes was way to good for you. You only had friends because Alex is hot. The guys only like you because Ashley is hot. The hot gene must've skipped you. I feel bad for all the magcon guys being forced to hang around you.' All the remarks and comments come flooding back. It's true though. My nose is too big, my ears stick out, I have manly shoulders, my chest to head is to big for my small body. I'm imperfect and I know it's true.

I open the cabinets to look for something sharp. Nothing.

Then my eyes flash across something. Sleep pills. I take the bottle with a shaky hand and unscrew the lid. I poor them into my hand. I can barely see because of the tears in my eyes. I count 20 and put them in the palm of my hand. "Abby! Stop!" I hear as someone barges in. I don't listen and put them in my mouth. The person hits me on the back and they fly out of my mouth. "Noo!" I scream falling to the floor to get them. Tears pouring out of my eyes. I feel hands take my shoulders and someone pulls me into their chest. Nash. "Shhh. Baby girl it will all be okay. Were all here for you. We all want you hear, especially Hayes. Don't do this to yourself." He whispers stroking my hair. I'm collapsed on his upper body as were on the ground. "No. I don't wanna be here." I sob. "Let me go Nash. Nobody want me here. Let me go." I cry. "Nash I wanna die nobody wants me." I cry and cry he just rubs my back and whispers soothing words into my ear. I keep sobbing how I want to leave the world and nobody wants me when we hear someone at the door. I look up slightly and see Alex and Hayes. I don't stop though. I cry as they watch still sobbing about wanting to die. They have tears in their eyes too. I have a headache because I was able to swallow a few pills. Not enough to hurt me though. Alex and Hayes don't move. They stare with sorrow and grief. Nash finally picks me up and carries me into his room with Hayes and Alex following behind. He lyes me on his bed and sits next to me. I curl up and wrap my arms around his waist. "Abby." He whispers. I groan and shake my head. "How many did you take?" He asks. I cry. "Abby how many did you take?" He says louder this time. I flinch. I shake my head. "4 or 5." I whisper hoarsely. He shakes his head. "I want you to stay here okay?" He asks. I nod slightly. "No leaving the room or anything. Stay in my bed and sleep. Please Abby?" I nod again already dozing off. He stands up and I feel my eyes go dark.

Nash's POV.

I go up from playing Xbox to check on Abby to see she wasn't there. I walk upstairs and see the door is shut and I see shadows of feet pacing. I get the lock and barge in. There's Abby trying To swallow pills. She puts them in her mouth and I swat her on the back. She chokes them out and falls to the ground crying. She cries onto me saying she wants to die and leave this world. Those words killed me on the inside. I held her trying not to cry when Alex and Hayes come up. They look at Abby and the pills on the ground in shock. After a few minutes I carry her into my room and lye her down. Once she's asleep we go into Hayes room. They both look at me. "N-Nash. D-d-did she try-y?" Alex stutters. I sigh. He has had enough emotional with his mom dying now his sister? His best friend that wants to die. I look at him and nod. "I found her pushing them into her mouth. I slapped her back and she choked most of them out. She really upset and I honestly don't know what to do." I sigh. Alex's eyes tear up and he sits on Hayes' bed. I sit next to him and hug him. I look at Hayes and he turns around and walks out.

Hayes POV.

I have to see Abby. I walk out an into to Nash's room to find her sleeping. I lye next to her and wrap my arms around her waist. She flutters her eyes open a little and looks at me. She gives me a weak smile and nuzzles into my chest. "I love you." I whisper. I have needed to say those three words for a while now. She shifts slightly and looks at me with tired eyes. "I love you too." she says before going to sleep. I hold her tight thinking she will slip out of my grasp as I drift to sleep also.

Hey y'all. Good chapter? Okay so I have some things to say. If any f my readers self harms or Think of committing someone loves you. Heck I love you more then ham. (That's big for me) You are so important to this world an without you many lives will change. I know I use these situations but please don't get offended. I honestly don't have any personal experience with myself with these things, but I have friends who do. I do my best to make them feel loved and worth something. And I will try to help you. If you guys want to talk it may be easier talking to someone you don't know you can message me. Lastly, you may not think it but if you go to an adult or guidance counselor they will give you help. Asking for help because you know you need it is probably the bravest thing to do. Admitting you need help means you care about yourself and you should. Your all beautiful and I love you. (Even though we never met I can feel it) I love you all an stay strong.

-Julia❤️💪