What It's Like Loving an Idiot

Thirty Three || Support Him

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What I misunderstood most from Grant is that I thought we were going to hang out at James and my apartment, but that doesn't seem to be the case. A Friday night: I should've known that wasn't the case. I had no idea that Grant has the capabilities to be able to have a house of full of party people and enough liquor delivered even before he showed up to his own house. What definitely makes this situation interesting is James's injury. It's not like he can get anywhere all that easily, although he has gotten better on moving around.

I jog up to walk beside Grant. "Grant, are you sure this is a good idea?" I ask in a hushed voice as we walk up the lawn of his house.

He stops in his steps and looks at me, his face exhausted. "I know it's not a good idea, but it's too late now."

This can't possibly end well.

I let Grant and the others go into the house as I wait for James. He looks at me, worry taking over his expression.

"How can he think this is good for him after a breakup like this?" I ask him.

He gives me a gentle smile. "Sometimes guys need to just let loose after a breakup, denial is how most of us deal with things."

I shake my head. "This is not what I meant by hanging out. I do not want to be at a party, James."

He smiles at me. "You need to let loose too." He mumbles as he walks past me and into the house.

I'm just going to pretend that he didn't just basically call me uptight. I follow him because who knows, maybe he's right. I cringe at the loudness of the music. I thought it was loud outside, but, clearly I wasn't taking in consideration of my eardrums when I went into the house. Immediately, I recognize many of kids from my classes, but I can't place names to the faces. The entire house feels so full and busy that it's hard to take in the entire scene. Although, most people can't walk in a straight line which causes a battlefield of chances of getting drinks spilled all over me. Oh, that horrible smell, it is becoming too familiar. I shake my head at it all. Perhaps, I spend too much inside with James. We'll read, study, watch T.V. and sleep. There isn't much else in between and the funny thing about all this is that our life is probably more exciting than any of these kids in here. I haven't been to a college party in what feels like forever and maybe that's why I feel so weird about being here. I feel like I should be at home doing something productive, although, I know if I were at home, I would not be doing that.

Someone's hand lands on the small of my back, which jolts me out of my thoughts. I turn around and find James standing there, his eyebrows furrowed at me.

He leans into my ear, knowing that I won't be able to hear him otherwise. "Stop thinking, just stop thinking for one night." He pulls back and looks at my face, a smile invading his face.

I nod, even though that seems pretty well impossible. He sits down on one of the couches in the living room while I go get us drinks.

As I enter the kitchen, it's also filled with kids, but not nearly as much as the rest of the house. Jesus, I complain so much. I shake my head and grab James and I drinks. Just as I leave the kitchen, someone bumps my shoulder and I cringe in pain and liquid falls to my feet. I thought my shoulder was healed? I thought I was done with this pain in the ass. I look in the cups and they still seem full enough. I look back and whoever did that didn't even have the decency to apologize.

I sigh and this is exactly why I would rather stay home. It's quiet there and people don't spill their drinks on me. I push through people, not even caring about politeness anymore and make my way back to James who is now sitting on the couch and probably will be for the rest of the night. I hand him the drink and sit down next to him, cursing at the newfound jolting pain in my shoulder. I was healing just fine before I got here.