What It's Like Loving an Idiot

Thirty Eight || Perfectly Candid

I feel completely alone standing here. I feel like I am the only person in the room beside these people. Time has stopped and they sit there pretending that it hasn't, or perhaps it is me who is pretending.

They still haven't noticed me and how? I'm not exactly sure. As I just stand here and watch them having their own little conversations, questions race through my mind. I mean, did they come here on their own, or did my mother send them or something?

Suddenly a pair of green eyes look into mine. "Vena?" Charley asks in a soft voice. The rest of my brothers turn and look at me.

I suddenly feel one the spot, like every single person's attention is at me. I suppose in this building it is, but that's beside the point because at this very moment, I can't think of anything to say. Somehow, it feels like these people have become sort of strangers to me. I mean, yes, they are my brothers. I know all sorts of things about them, but, I guess, lately, I've just felt so distant from my family. I mean, I can't remember the last time I called my mom.

Almost subconsciously, I feel myself turning and looking up at James for some sort of answer. But he looks just as surprised as I am. "Do you—"

He shakes his head, "Absolutely no idea, Ven," he looks at me sadly.

I nod and touch his arm before I walk away and face my family. They all look at me, not much being said at all between anyone. Ending the silence, Charley stands up and wraps his arms around my shoulders. "How are you?" he asks me.

I nod, "Good."

Soon enough, all my brothers stand up to hug me.

I sit down in the open seat and look around the table at each of them. "So, how have you been, Vena?" Orlando asks me, looking perfectly straight at me, patiently.

I nod, "Good, I've been good," I try to reassure him as much as I can, but, I can tell that it's not going overly well for me.

He nods slowly, "Right, well, that's why we met here today," Orlando starts, but I feel the need to interrupt him.

"How exactly did you know I would be here?" I question him before he has the chance to continue.

He nods to Charley, signaling him to speak. Charley sighs at him, "Are you serious? You can't just say it?" he looks at Orlando, looking really quite annoyed with him.

Orlando nods, "Yes, so tell her."

"I knew that you came here with James often enough, so, I figured you'd show up at some point during the day," Charley explains what Orlando could've just as easily.

To be perfectly candid, I'm annoyed with Orlando, I really am because that last time I saw him was when he was starting shit at Christmas.

My eyes drift away from the two oldests and see Luke and my twin brothers. They're all here. How on earth did they manage to be able to get together all on one day? I mean, It seems like Orlando is constantly travelling for work and Charley is busy with his family. As for my twin brothers, they're off at college too and should be at home doing homework or something, not being here for whatever reason they are.

"We're worried about you, V," Luke's voice brings me out of my thoughts. In my eye, he's still this little kid with a shy voice. He's my little brother, I don't think I will ever think of him as an adult even though he's already seventeen.

Hayden clears his throat when no one else says anything, "Listen, most of us here didn't come here to shit on your relationship, trust me, at least, we didn't," he gestures to himself, Ayden and Luke. "It's not like that, in fact, it's never has been. We're worried about you and only you. I mean, when was the last time we saw you? Christmas, it's February, Vena." He shakes his head more at himself than me. His dark locks of hair falling onto his forehead.