What It's Like Loving an Idiot

Sixty Nine || We Take Blood

James's POV

The moment that I knew she was leaving, I had to kiss her, I just had to. I didn't even think about it, I just knew.

She left about an hour ago and my hands still haven't stopped shaking. Never could I imagine that Vena and I would ever not be together. When I moved into her apartment, I knew I was going to fall in love with her to complete surrender. It was inevitable, but I didn't run. Falling for her was one of the most scariest, but simply perfect experiences I've ever endured. Now, though? I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want her to go off and date other people, I want her to be with me.

I haven't moved from my bed since she left the room. Trying to come up with a way to get her back was a lot harder than I originally planned. Of course, I could've had the argument that if she loved me than she would've stayed, but that's not fair. This situation just isn't like that. She left me because she had to, not because she wanted to.

Her whole 'break' thing certainly is odd. I thought about that a lot after she left. I'm not even quite sure what she meant by it. Dating other people seems very break uppy to me, but apparently not. Fuck, maybe she'll go back to that man that I heard on the phone from the club. It does seem like a long shot, but it's possible. All of this is giving me a fucking headache. Maybe she means that she'll be there when I get back? But, even then she can't be sure of that. If she finds someone else, someone better, that will be it. She will be so far out of my reach that there's no way I'll be able to get back.

I find that when Vena makes up her mind about something, it rarely changes. Would she change her mind about me? I hope not.

There's a loud knock on the door and I jump a little. God, I hate being nervous. It makes me all jumpy and shit.

I have to turn it off. I can't be nervous here, it's too dangerous.

I get up and pull open the door. For a second, my mind goes to a place where I think it could be Vena on the other side of the door, but that's a utopian thought.

On the other side of the door, I find Jason staring back at me. I sigh loudly and obnoxiously at his presence in front of my door. I hate talking to anyone here. These gun fiends have absolutely nothing in common with me, so why would I waste my time talking to them? I am here for one reason and that it all. I am not here to make friends.

"What?" I sneer at him and grip the door handle.

"Always great to talk to you, James," sarcasm is ridden through his words. He walks through the doorway with absolutely no invitation. "What the fuck? Get out!" My voice is getting louder and louder as I get more pissed off. I just want to be alone. Can't these people just leave me alone?

He looks at me, "You're a pretty angry dude aren't you?"

I'm going fucking snap if this guy doesn't leave right now. "Don't act like you know me."

He smiles back at me, completely and entirely unfazed by my attitude. "Right, well, I'm actually here to talk you about something." He sits down in the chair by my desk.

Oh, for fuck's sake. Really? What could he possibly have to say to me? He's Jason. He drives people to the city and picks them up. That's all I can think of that would be considered his "job" here.

I swing the door shut and it slams. "Fucking hell," I mumble under my breath.

I sit down on my bed and look at the man sitting across from me. He crosses his arms over his chest, but doesn't say one goddamn word.

"Well?" I question him, getting more impatient as he just sits there like an idiot.

He leans back in his chair. "So, Vena?"