What It's Like Loving an Idiot

Seventy One || Useless

James's POV

My memories of Arturo and Dominic are vivid, though I wish they weren't. I spent so many years of my life trying to get those images of them and my mother out of my head.

At the age of ten I saw more than a kid my age is supposed to. It was the type of life that I had been raised up in.

I remember one night I was looking for my mother, she was supposed to tuck Autumn into bed and wouldn't go to sleep until she was. By this time, I pretty well knew what every door led to and who was most likely behind it. Now I can hardly remember how to get to the armory without getting lost. That night I found my mother in the kitchen, but she wasn't alone. The way they continued to bash at her ribs made me feel useless. As a ten year old boy, I was useless. At least in that situation.

To this day, I regret standing there and not saying a damn a word. I couldn't speak, I remember that. Maybe if I did than perhaps they would've stopped and not so many of my mother's ribs would've broken. I know that I was just a kid, but I always felt like there was something I could've done, but didn't.

After that day, I kept a closer eye on my mother. Autumn made fun of me for it, calling me a baby. I wasn't. I just knew that if I was always near my mother, no one would touch her.

No one beat on my mother as hard as Arturo and Dominic did, not even my father. She'd have bruises from him, but broken bones were never in the picture. I couldn't stop my father because if I did he'd come after me.

~

~

Autumn decided that she wants to speak with me again. I don't know what for. It doesn't make much sense to me. I'm sure that anything that needed to be said has already been said.

I walk into her office, without a single damn. I'm done with knocking. I'm done with asking. I'm done with caring. With that, I've lost my respect for her. She has put me so deep in a mess that I thought that I managed to get myself away from. Apparently not. Apparently, I just walked back in so diligently.

"What?" I question her, aggravated.

She looks up at me, her phone pressed to her ear and worry spread over her face.

My stomach lurches at her expression. I know it. I know it all too well.

"What? What is it?" I push her to answer me.

She flinches, but I don't believe it is from me. I'm sure that it is whatever she heard through the speaker of her phone. "He's here," she says, confidence returning in her voice. Her face says that she hasn't been this scared in a long time, but her voice makes her seem like she's invincible.

She suddenly sets her phone down on her desk and presses the speakerphone button.

My eyebrows furrow at her. "What is it?" I ask her with urgency.

"It's on speaker." She announces, disregarding my question.

"Hello James."

My throat feels tighter than it ever has before. That voice makes my stomach stir and my head fuzzy. Arturo.

"Arturo." I say, my voice not coming out nearly as good as Autumn's.

She looks up me, discontent parading in her eyes.

"How have you been? I haven't heard from you in years."

I gulp and choose not to answer.

"Though, I did hear you were in a car accident. Tragic."

"What do you want?" I question him, my annoyance becoming clearer and my voice getting stronger. I swear if he's calling to tell me that he picked up Vena, that's it. I am out of here. I will get her and I will get her now.